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Friday, March 01, 2013

The Cat's Out of the Bag

I found out today I have a secret admirer.

Which is funny because I feel a lot of things, but I don't really feel admired.  But my boss told me about it and I just couldn't stop laughing.  I guess she's been bugging him about it for who knows how long, years?

"Who's that guy?  He's cute.  Tell him I like him."  Today's the first I heard about it.

Turns out I smiled at her when I went out for a smoke, and I had to think back.  I smiled at a lady?  So I'm trying to think...when did I smile at a lady?

It occurred to me later that I had run into her today, by the door, just me going through it, her standing there talking on her phone.  There was a smile, and then I walked off.

Thinking back on it, I got a message from her on the company's intranet around my anniversary, but I didn't really think too much of it.  Our company's social media thing is not really something I'm into.  I'm more of a NSFW kind of guy.

Anyway, I thought it was pretty funny.  All this time I've been an object of this lady's desire, and I didn't even know it.

Don't get too excited.  She's too old for me and I won't date any of the women at work.  Except for the CEO's assistant.  She's very good looking:  tall, dark hair, exotic eyes, and she's the CEO's assistant.  I'd date her.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Shows

The Good

Raising Hope - Garrett Dilahunt murders this show, dries out its skin, and wears it dancing in the moonlight.  Martha Plimpton is hilarious too.

New Girl - I wasn't sure about this one.  Loving Zooey Deschanel was a sure thing, but I wasn't sure about the dudes. But they've let the show grow into their actors a bit, with Nick being less pathetic and Schmidt more.

Modern Family - This has been in the rotation from the get go and I have no reason to let it go.

Parks and Recreation - Still killing it, but I'm not sure what Rob Lowe is doing on it.

The Mindy Project - I really wonder if this one will get picked up.  I hope so.  Great writing, great performances.  But it looks more expensive than it needs to be and I'm not sure it can out compete all the other "girls in New York" shows.  Plus it's on Fox, so I fear the axe is coming.  That would free up 22 minutes a week, but c'mon.

Community - It's back!  Not liking the Troy and Britta sleeping together thing, but I'm sure they're thinking "but she has such great chemistry with Donald."  Dude, Donald Glover has great chemistry with everyone.

The Bad

Scandal - Should be a winner, could be a winner, but it strains credulity much too often for a show with no supernatural undertones.  I like Kerry Washington as the manic go-getter who is much too young to have any credibility in DC, and I like Guillermo Diaz as Huck, her psycho assistant, but I'm not sure I like the beveled glass sliding in front of the camera all the time or any of the convoluted plots.

The Taste - I saw this because of Anthony Bourdain, but I just feel kind of embarrassed for him.  The set they have just looks cheap and the set-up is confusing.  They have teams, but then they blind-taste stuff and send people home?  They're trying to go for that cooking show drama Gordon Ramsey does so well, but it doesn't work.

The Ugly

The Following - This one came highly recommended and it has a lot to offer, Kevin Bacon, James Purefoy, Winona from Justified.  But I couldn't get through the first episode. 

First I laughed out loud when the crazed naked follower with Poe written all over her body stuck an ice pick in her eye.  "You don't want to do this," Kevin Bacon says.  Dude, she's naked with Poe written all over her body.  She brought an ice pick to a place with no ice.  Of course she wants to do it.

That was just funny, but there's more!

The killer, played by James Purefoy, has this acolyte that works at the prison.  The police find out about him through looking through some computer files and barge in on his house with a SWAT team.  It was all very Silence of the Lambs, but you know, unnecessary.   A reason to pump up the music, add some drama.

They find the house empty, but one wall is covered in all these lost dog posters.  This is when I groan.

It's not enough for this guy to be a serial killer's apprentice who helped him escape from prison, oh no.  He has to be a dog killer too.  A fucking dog serial killer.

And sure enough, they search his computer and finds videos of him killing dogs and then, what's that?  Over on this table they find the guy's latest victim, a dog who's been mutilated, moaning under a blanket.

That was too much for me.  I felt myself pulled out of the show and into the hands of some writer who was trying to bludgeon me, hitting me with THIS IS A BAD GUY, pound, pound, pound.

I get it.  He's a serial killer's apprentice who helped him escape from jail.  Leave it at that.  You don't have to make him a dog killer too.  One character later says, "You know, dead people I can handle, but dead dogs?"

Really, writing team?  

Snow

It's been a snowy, cold, wet week so far and I really hope the earth gets it out of its system.  Sunday, me and my brother are rolling out on what may become a yearly ritual:  To see the Jayhawks final home game.

It'll be on primetime ESPN just in time for March Madness, if you want to catch the action.

I've plied the rain gods with Xboxes and Twizzlers so maybe they will take the week off.

The Oscars

I didn't watch them and I didn't really care who won.  I haven't seen any of the nominated films, maybe a few little ones, so I wasn't even invested in the thing. 

But it happened and the guys at work wanted to talk about it.

I don't think the Academy is really the best judge of movies, and they often lionize the most mundane dreck, but then again, you can blame that on their bias against genre.  But they do have influence, not just in who gets the jobs (which is often the winners, the nominees, and the snubs) but in what kind of movies get made.

This year, maybe they got a mixed bag.  Argo got best picture, tagging Ben Affleck and George Clooney as hot commodities.  They can pick which development deal they want.  I say that's cool.  They show promise as guys who can not only star in movies, but get good ones made.  I wouldn't mind if they got a little more clout.

Ang Lee as Best Director, though?  That one I'm not sure about.  Give him two of them?  Two more than Hitchcock?  Man, I don't know.  I guess if his background is taken into account, he makes "interesting" films, but Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is the only one on my Must-Have list.  Maybe Life of Pi deserved it, or maybe just give another one to Spielberg and call it a day.

What's Ang Lee's next one going to be and why should I care?

The Road

Another hour-long drive home, thanks to an accident on the highway, a dumb decision on my part, and a bunch of other stupid people.  I should have never gotten off the highway, even though traffic was backed up and slowed to a crawl.  It was no different on the side streets.  As soon as I got out of the mess they call Greenwood Village, I got back on the highway and just suffered the bottleneck.

Even once they finish building the light-rail, I'm not sure the highways will ever get any better.  They're just poorly designed.  Greenwood Village is a joke because it has too many lights too close together right off the highway.  There is never a chance for the roadway to clear at peak times.  It just becomes a place where no one really progresses.  Some people fear they won't be able to get over, so they try to merge into stopped traffic, basically blocking two lanes for a few crucial seconds that could have been used, rather than for this inadvisable merge, for some movement.

Movement should be the primary motive of our roadways, but it seems like it's not.  I think that's a problem that should be fixed, and wish I were a younger man so I could try and fix it.