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Saturday, January 12, 2013

Broncos! (Live Blog)

Holy shit!  The Broncos have 7 points and Manning hasn't even taken the field!

Oh man, that call was some bullshit.  Shouldn't pass interference only be called on catchable balls?  I think so....

Good play, Flacco.  Enjoy it.  Dum and Gloom is just getting warmed up.

Okay...spoke too soon.  It sure would be nice if Eric "Drop" Decker would catch the ball!  I know it's cold and Ray Lewis is scary, but PLAYOFFS, man.  SUPER BOWL.  Step...it...up.

Um, did Ray Lewis pay off these refs or what?

Decker catches one.  Shouldn't be impressed, but I am.

Okay, it's official.   These officials are in the bag for Baltimore.

Turn on your mic, ya crooked fucking zebra.

That's it, guys, hang onto that ball.

Six points for Stokely.  That's it, throw it to the old pro.  We have a shootout here, folks.

What, a flag for every play?  We don't need that, man.

Now Decker's making some plays.  Sorry I called you "Drop," Eric.

Touchdown....and a late flag?  Pick that shit up, man.  Six points to Moreno.  Don't be a dick, ref.

Yeah, no flag for a "celebration."   PLAYOFFS, man.

Um...who was Flacco throwing to?  Looked like intentional grounding to me.

Peyton rolls out.  FIRST DOWN!

Going for it on 4th...and FIRST DOWN!

Damn...I gotta give it to Torrie Smith.  That was a good play.  C'mon, Champ!

Half-time show.  JB, Dan, Coach, Shannon, and Boomer.  The only one who doesn't look like shit in HD is Dan.  JB's hair looks totally fake.  Coach's thinning hairline looks really thin.  Shannon didn't shave right today.  Boomer looks like he's been up drinking all night, all puffy eyes and bloat.  Dan's lean and tan.  Gotta be Nutrisystem.

Another one????  Damn, this guy is good.  MVP of this game:  Number 11.  Trindon Holliday.

Now make em punt, Defense.  Let's do this.

More penalties...Jesus H.  C'mon, D!

SNAGGED!  That wasn't the Denver D, though.  That was Flacco.  All Flacco.

Now score again, guys.  Put 'em down 2 scores.

This flag situation is ridiculous.  But we'll take that automatic first down.  Suggs...one of the dirtiest players in the NFL.  Thanks, bud.

Wow, Ray Lewis is really earning this last game, isn't he?  Did you see his finger?  Looks broken to me.

Now that was a good play.  Manning rolls out again and hits the TE.  Beautiful.

UGLY turnover....c'mon D!  Pick 6 these guys.

OH NO!  Ray Rice...from Rutgers....Running.  GET 'IM!

I don't like this trading scores thing, man.....there's still more game to play, but I'd feel way better if the Broncos put this thing away.

Oh man, this is getting ugly.  That sack looked like it hurt.

Hillman gets a first down.  This guy has stepped up.  Look at him hold on to the ball.

First down and a 15 yard penalty.  We'll take it.  Way to lead with the helmet, dumbass.

Another flag...what did these dirty birds do this time?  Holding.  Chumps.

One thing I like about Eric Decker.  IF he catches the ball, he WILL fight for those extra yards.

Now there's a score.  7 minutes left.  HOLD EM, D.  Hold em.

4th and 5.  I think this game is over.

DOH!  IN.....COM...PLETE!!

Last 3 minutes of Ray Lewis's career.  Make it purdy.

Hillman is earning his spot this game.  Good job, man.

2 minute warning.  Let's get a first down, guys.  Put this thing to bed.  (Hmmm......bed.  One more hour and I'll have been up for 24 hours.  With no crack!  Gonna sleep good tonight.)

How long will it take to burn this minute and 15 seconds?  Running out of steam here.  This game has been on for almost 4 hours.

Flush him out, and shut em down.

Oh fuck.....Really????  Really?????????  Baltimore ties it.

Looks like we're going to OT.

Taking a knee....No downside to taking a shot downfield.  But maybe I just want this game to be over.  I am awfully tired.

So I nodded off for a bit....and the game ends with a kick??

You gotta be kidding me.

That's it.  I'm going to bed.

Things I Didn't Really Like

Elmore Leonard's Latest Book Raylan

Tickled at the success of Justified, Elmore Leonard wrote another Raylan Givens novel, and despite starting out quite good, it fell apart quickly.  Indeed, the book stinks of a fix-up, as if he had the idea for a couple of interesting Raylan short stories and stitched them together to make a "novel."

I wasn't offended when Raylan almost got killed by someone trying to snatch his kidneys or when he hooked up with some 23-year-old poker whiz for no particular reason.

What offends me is that if this were someone else's first novel, it would have never been published.  The rejection slip would have had words like "amateurish" and phrases like "Where's the story?"

Disappointment:  Major.

Dredd

I had no high hopes for this movie.  Karl Urban is no Sylvester Stallone and Judge Dredd is a one note character anyway.  But I have a high tolerance for bad movies, especially bloody ones, but I found it difficult to stomach this one.

In one scene, a perpetually scowling Lena Headey (not a good look, hon) skins a few guys and throws them off a hundred story building.  They go splat splat splat.  I guess we were supposed to be horrified by that.

The only thing horrifying was how artless the whole thing was.

Here's an idea:  If you're going to make a Judge Dredd movie and it's going to suck, at least play Anthrax's I Am the Law at least once during the thing.  I don't think it will help really, but it may make it suck less.


Respect the badge
He earned it with his blood
Fear the gun
Your sentence may be death because
I AM THE LAW

Bus Blues

Yesterday it took me an hour to get home, and that was before it started snowing.  This morning, it took me two hours, an hour of that spent standing in the cold, toes frozen, iPod battery drained, eager to get moving.  There was no one else with me on the train platform. 

I wandered up to the enclosed pedestrian bridge that crosses I-25.  The glass walls were opaque with ice, not much of a view and it was no warmer than any other spot on this cold, cold morning.

The flaws of this town's mass transit system are in my bones.  It seems to me that if some of the train stations had restrooms, there would be less peeing in the elevators.  If there were some space for vendors, the interminable wait between trains could be made more bearable with a cup of coffee and a newspaper.  They could even sell the tickets.

Cover the platforms and you wouldn't have to hire guys to shovel snow all day.

Here's an idea:  Design the trains so they're level with the platform.  I personally have no problem climbing the four stairs to get on the train, but I'm a healthy young man.  If you're in heels or have a bad knee...good luck.

And no, it doesn't make sense for the trains to drop you off at the station two minutes after the transfer bus leaves.  Two minutes before might work better, but then again...maybe freezing your ass off in abject boredom is the goal.

Call me crazy, but it would be easier to justify spending hundreds of millions of dollars on a light rail system if it was, you know, more useful.  Don't you think?