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Saturday, May 12, 2012

A Place I'll Never Go

I hereby pledge to never visit the Museum of the Great Patriotic War in Kiev, Ukraine.  This picture scared the shit out of me.
It's not the stark communist aesthetic, although that is definitely creepy, it's the size.  Statues of people creep me out, oversize statues of people doubly so.  Put one of these underwater* and I will scream like a little girl.


*  I didn't realize I had an irrational fear of underwater statues until I saw a photo of one.  Google "Jesus statue underwater" and you'll probably see the one I'm talking about.  No, I'm not going to link.  I'm going to close my eyes and plug my ears and wait until the scary underwater Jesus is no longer around.

The Shakedown

Yep, looks like Birdman got baited.

Documents reviewed by The Denver Post confirm that she repeatedly represented herself to be of legal age and that her family later demanded payment from Andersen.
Doh! What an idiot.

 The girl and, yes, Birdman, too. If some strange girl from California started sending me letters and sexy pictures, I'd be instantly skeptical and I'm not even rich or famous. What was Bird thinking?

"Hmmm, maybe this chick is legit." Yeah, and maybe you won't someday regret all those tattoos.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Canoeing With Ron Swanson

They Grow Up So Fast!

Smoke and Sadie now.

Smoke and Sadie then.
My kitties love me, not just because I feed them but because I rub their bellies, scratch their ears, throw their little felt mice across the room so they can chase it, because I'm a warm bump in a soft bed. 

I used to have a cat that hated me. This is way better.

Play-Offs?

What the hell, man?  Don't you know I'm cynical pessimist?  What are you trying to do?  Give me hope?

In game six, what should have been the last game of the series, the Nuggets clobbered the Lakers by 17 points, forcing a game 7.  Odds are the Lakers will take it --at least that's what I'm telling myself to lessen any disappointment-- but things are looking good for the boys in blue.

Well, unless you're Chris "Birdman" Andersen, who looks like he may be facing a kiddie porn beef.  (Details are scant, but my money says we're dealing with an underage girl with an iPhone and a big mirror in her bathroom.  I suppose Bird could be a pedophile, but being in the NBA and all that, I think it's more likely he got snagged by some jailbait.)

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Radley Balko is Mostly Useless Part III

On the president's endorsement of gay marriage, he writes:
I’m sorry, but I’m not really seeing the bravery or heroism, here. It’s important, sure. And it’s historic. And it might prove to be an effective use of the bully pulpit.

 It’s also about f*cking time.
Translation: It's important and historic, but it's late so let me whine about it. So we get six paragraphs of mincing about federalism and how awful it is that the government grants benefits to married couples, all of it culminating in this nonsense:
Insert boilerplate libertarian disclaimer about how government shouldn’t be in the business of sanctioning relationships in the first place.
That's cute and everything, and I can see how you'd reach that conclusion if you take libertarianism to its absurd conclusion, but in a liberal society, the government does what the people wants it to do, and people want marriages to be legally recognized.

I think Balko knows this is a losing argument, which is why he harps on the federalism stuff. This, though, this is overstating things just a bit:
This is a president half-assing it while still keeping plenty of political cover, and on an issue in which he could have effected real change had he had the courage of his convictions years ago.
As leadership goes, it’s little more than acknowledging the direction the wind is blowing. It hardly merits a new chapter for Profiles in Courage.
"Acknowledging the direction the wind is blowing." Huh.

 This the day after NC bans gay marriage and civil unions completely and my own state, Colorado, dumps the civil unions bill. The wind is blowing, yes, but not in one direction. A better cliche would be "the battle is still raging." And here comes the fucking cavalry, the President of the United States, riding his gilded unicorn, spreading rainbows of hope and starbursts of  change to all non-haters.

To quote Joe Biden, that's a big fucking deal.

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

The Trials and Tribulations of the Drain

I probably should have rescheduled when they told me I was next in line and then didn't call for three hours.  I was already in bed, but hell...let's just get this done.  So the the plumber shows up at two, takes a look around, quotes a price --a price lower than those other guys wanted to charge me for cleaning my swamp cooler-- and then gets to work.

Two hours later, I'm paying him.  Four hours later, I'm supposed to get up and go to work.

But as it turned out, I slept through my alarm, woke up two hours late.  Everyone thinks I'm dead.  Just dead asleep.

The good news is my kitchen sink doesn't gurgle when I flush the toilet anymore.  But man, I sure feel stupid.

Monday, May 07, 2012

Caveat Twitter

Checked my e-mail today and discovered I've been tweeting out links to some sex website.  So I look at my Twitter account and find that I've tweeted it out about....oh, 55 times.  No idea how that happened, but I deactivated my Twitter account.

Why does there always have to be some geek trying to hijack your machine or break into your accounts? 

Sunday, May 06, 2012

Libertarians Are Naive

A couple of libertarianish guys I read with some regularity were really pulling for Gary Johnson in the GOP primary.  You know, the former Republican governor from New Mexico who didn't even get invited to the debates and never got above 5% support in the polls.

So Johnson quit the Republican party and got the Libertarian Party nomination.  Cue the jizzing in the pants.

First, Doug Mataconis:

... [I]t’s encouraging to see the Libertarians actually nominating candidates with a real political resume, and the possibility of reaching out to groups dissatisfied with both candidates on issues like the drug war and same-sex marriage (Johnson supports same-sex marriage, Obama and Romney do not). Getting real attention for a campaign of ideas? Yea I’d be happy with that.
This may be too generous. Johnson has nothing on gay marriage on his website, so I'm guessing it's an issue he doesn't really care about too much, and while I applaud Johnson's stance on marijuana legalization, it's not like the Libertarians are alone on this issue anymore.

Look at all the states that have legalized or decriminalized medical marijuana. It's almost always through popular vote and well, Libertarians just aren't that popular. I have a feeling that the only "real attention" Johnson is going to get is from right-leaning Libertarians who don't want to vote for Romney.

And then here's Conor Friedersdorf:
It's an opportune moment for a libertarian ticket to offer a serious, forceful critique of drug policy, for beyond fortuitous changes in public opinion, there's an incumbent with broken promises and a lackluster record on the issue; and a Republican challenger who is even more of a drug warrior in his avowed positions and such a teetotaller personally that he eschews even caffeine. Are Johnson and Gray the right team to make this critique?
Short answer? No.

Slightly longer answer: You really expected the first black president, whose opponents refused for years to acknowledge he's even American, is really going to legalize marijuana? He's going to drop everything --two wars, the Middle East going nuts, the economy in shambles, healthcare reform-- and legalize dope? He of the terrorist fist-bump, he who palled around with terrorists?

 If Obama wanted to put the legalization movement back 10 years, all he needs to do is announce his support. Joe Arpaio would demand he take a drug test to prove he's not smoking dope. Heard about all the scary things the Black Panthers have been doing at poll places? Wait till you hear they're all high on legal Obama-weed.

 But by all means...vote for Gary Johnson. Someone besides his wife has to.