Friday, January 20, 2012

I Got Hurt Feelings

I dedicate this song to Newt Gingrich, who got his feelings hurted by CNN when they asked him about his second wife.

Seriously, we were going to watch the debates tonight, but after Newt's crybaby act, me and another guy refused.

We flipped it over to the Australian Open. Caroline Wozniacki won. That was wayyy better.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Rez Ball

Now that the internet's back from its Activist Day, I got lost in a wiki-tube about basketball and found myself reading about Rezball. I didn't realize basketball was so popular with Native Americans, but I guess it makes sense. Basketball is very popular.

But I wanted to see this "transition-based basketball that forces tempo with aggressive play, quick scoring and assertive defense" in action. And I found this girl.

Girl's got skills.

Well, That's Embarassing

Not making this up:
The ANTHRAX "Icon" compilation (Island/UMe) sold 64 copies (not a typo) in its first week of release, according to Nielsen SoundScan.
That's one per state and an extra in some NFL cities.

But then again, this isn't the first "Best of" Anthrax has put out, nor is it very comprehensive. 11 tracks? That's it? Thankfully it doesn't contain any of their lame ballad-type songs like Only. But it does contain all their popular covers, not just Antisocial but also Got the Time and Bring the Noise. I like all three of those songs, but c'mon, man...

Antisocial is the only thing from State of Euphoria? I loved that whole record. Got the Time is the only thing from Persistence of Time? No Keep it In the Family? No In My World? No Belly of the Beast?

The Anthrax fan doesn't need this record, and the casual listener would be better off picking up Return of the Killer A's or Anthrology: No Hit Wonders.

I'm just thankful that Greater of Two Evils record exists. It's kind of a "best of" record, but with new, even heavier recordings. That record rocks.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

SOPA We Todd Did

Enough with protesting. Seriously, stop it.

Vast stretches of the internet are going dark for 24 hours to protest legislation Congress has already said they'd reconsider and the president has already said he won't sign. Yes, SOPA is stupid. (It stands for Stop Online Piracy Act.) Yes, PIPA is stupid. (Not sure, exactly...just a guess, but Protect Intellectual Property Act?) And yes, Congress is stupid.

We have no reason to believe that Congress will wise up and every reason to fear that industry cretins will continue to try to jigger the law in their favor. I get the concern.

But is going dark with some dumb little message the best way to handle the situation? How persuasive do you think that little move is really going to be?

Oh, I know, I know...there's power in numbers. And yeah, that can be true. A bunch of dummies doing a bunch of dumb things, though, doesn't create power. It just means there's more dumb things in the world.

You think the Hollywood law firms lobbying congress for SOPA are going to see the black page on Wikipedia today and go, "Well, gee, they're right. We should stop doing this." Bah.

Do something clever. Don't even mention SOPA. Form a PAC to lobby Congress to lower the copyright period to seven years. Seven years and it's public domain, motherfuckers. Retroactively. How you like that?

Bam. Online piracy stopped. Granted, it would be stopped by narrowing the period things can be pirated down to nearly nothing, but would work.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

The Decline of The Exhibitor Trade

I often complain about the dummies that work in our nation's theaters, and for good cause. They can't trace cables, can't find dead bodies in bathrooms. It's a wonder they can pop popcorn really.

Updated: Word is that 5 managers were put on leave for not noticing the dead man in their bathroom.

Corporate says:
"Cinemark is evaluating its opening and closing procedures to determine how this could have taken place and to ensure that it does not happen again."
Um.....okay. Do that, but do this also: Rather than hiring the dumbest, cheapest, laziest people you can find, cough up an extra buck or two an hour and hire some decent employees.

I was watching the special features on True Grit the other day and they were talking about how they had a couple of guys up on a cherry-picker pulling leaves off a tree because the movie was set in winter. Do you know which tree I'm talking about?

Probably not. Even if you noticed the tree, you would never have known it was denuded by a crew on a cherry picker.

That's the kind of care, detail, and professionalism that goes into the making of films. The dead body locked in the bathroom for five days? That's the kind of care, detail, and professionalism that goes into screening them.

Updated: This Channel 7 story has more details.

Why didn't they find him when they went to clean the bathroom? Well, they don't clean their own bathrooms. They use a janitorial service. What are the chances they hired the only janitorial service in the state NOT staffed by poorly-compensated migrant workers of questionable documentation?

She thought the theater had a problem with the bathroom, so she didn't report it. The report noted the woman didn't speak English.
And then you have the general incompetence of the theater staff:
A theater employee told police he had tried to enter the bathroom on Jan. 12 and 13, but found it locked. On Jan. 14, another employee reported the bathroom was still locked. It wasn't until a third employee said that he was made aware of a foul smell coming from the bathroom that employees forcibly entered by using a wrench and found DeGrazio's body.

Apparently, the theater was unable to locate a key to unlock the bathroom door.
This does not surprise me in the least. We're talking about low-paid part-time positions with as little responsibility as possible. It's the kind of job where not giving a shit is actually a virtue. Give a shit and you'll wonder why you're paid peanuts and not empowered to do a goddamn thing.

What are the chances that the key to the family bathroom is being guarded fiercely by some high-and-mighty tyrant with "manager" in their job description?


What a joke. This is how business is done in this country? Yes. Yes it is.

Hidden Memories

It's well-known that I have this, ahem, fear of amputees and amputations. An amputee can chase me around the room with their stump and I'll scream like a little girl. If he wanted to, Maury Povich could really terrorize me on his show.

And over the years, I've been able to trace this back to some things that happened in my childhood. A magic show at my church was one of them, where an evangelical illusionist "cut" a guy's hand off with a guillotine and restored it through the power of Christ. (I just remember the guy screaming, the fake hand falling to the floor, the "bloody" handkerchief that was over the "stump.")

Most of the rest were movies, Empire Strikes Back a prominent one, but just a few months ago, I discovered another one that contributed to the fear of stumps...

Yellowbeard, that lame faux-Monty Python freakshow, which seared a few images into this child's head. The part where Peter Boyle gets his hand lopped off in the treasure chest? Bam, right there, one of the prime sources of my phobia.

When I got it from Netflix I had no idea that I had already seen it probably thirty years ago, at a drive-in if my memory serves correctly. I don't remember much about it, the hand being cut off, the father scalping the son to reveal the treasure map, the general randiness. But it sure left its mark.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Misheard Lyrics Part 2

What 13 year old transcribed this Band of Skulls record? Seriously Lyrics got Bomb all wrong.

The plugin version:
All that you do, all that you say
To get to home is, to get away
The song is called Bomb. Try this:
All that you do, all that you say
Ticking timebomb is ticking away
They're from England. You have to allow for the accent.

Incidentally this is one my favorite songs by Band of Skulls so far. It really gets cooking at the two minute mark, but it's not until 2:22 that it really gets good. Believe it or not, but the guy does some interesting things...with his guitar. And you thought the guitar was played out...

Sunday, January 15, 2012