Friday, January 06, 2012

It's Not a Purse....It's European!

So I've been looking for a new bag to carry my Kindle around in, a satchel or a messenger bag rather than the backpack I have, and I thought I found one at the thrift store. Made out of leather and thick canvas, it had the right materials and was the perfect size. My worry, though, was that I'd be lugging around a purse. Turns out, it is a purse, a nice one.

I thought I'd be able to man it up, put some biker patches on it, some skull pins, throw some studs in the leather. But ultimately, I decided to forgo the whole thing and get a proper messenger bag.

And I found one, again at the thrift store, a proper shoulder bag. The price tag said $4.99. I bought it.

And turns out, I got myself a deal.

Updated: And even then, I'm not sure I got an item intended to be slung over the shoulders over a male. Looking at the reviews on the website, they're all from women and the only male voices say things like, "I bought this for my daughter." Jeez, man...

The Master Narrator

Thanks to the talent of master narrator Frank Muller, each unexpected terror will send another tingle up and down the reader's spine.
That's what it says on the back of the clamshell for the audiobook version of Richard Bachman's (Stephen King's) The Regulators.

Seeing it on the thrift store shelf, of course I was going to buy it. I've always wanted to read that book and Frank Muller? Master narrator? Sold.

I'd listen to Frank Muller read the phone book. Well, for a minute or two at least, just to see how it sounds. Unfortunately, Frank Muller is no longer with us. He died a few years back, stopped reading even longer than that. In 2001, he had a motorcycle accident and never fully recovered, suffering the kind of brain injury that not only knocks a few IQ points off your chart but leaves up unable to function. He probably should have died the moment he hit the concrete.

But before all that happened, he read books. Good books. Alright, some not so good ones, but a lot of books so you can skip the bad ones and not feel too bad about it. Most of the Elmore Leonard audiobooks I've listened to were read by Frank Muller, Road Dogs being a good one, although I liked Tishomingo Blues too. (The way Muller did Chicksaw Charlie was hilarious, but a lot of that was in the writing too.)

So I guess my point is this: If you see an audiobook read by Frank Muller, pick it up.

Tuesday, January 03, 2012


All this attention on Iowa has been ridiculous. It's a small, non-representative state whose biggest city is smaller than Colorado Springs.

And this Ron Paul stuff has just been, well, embarrassing. Not for me, of course, because I wouldn't elect Ron Paul dog catcher, but for other people, Andrew Sullivan especially.

Sullivan highlights this from David Frum:
Perhaps you like Paul’s message of legalized marijuana? Why not just say so? You don’t think it’s important to stop Iran from gaining nuclear weapons? Argue it forthrightly. If you regard Social Security and Medicare as literally the moral equivalents of slavery, go ahead, make your case.

But all this excuse-making, special pleading and jiggering of the rules of evidence so as to exculpate Ron Paul from the record of his whole political life? For what?
And responds with this:
My question back to David is: which other Republican candidate favors an end to the drug war, reforming entitlements, cutting defense and not launching a new war on Iran? None so far as I can tell. And the whole record of Paul's public life is not defined by the extremes David cites.
My question to Andrew is this: If those are the issues you care about, why are you looking to the Republican party?

They're not going to end the drug war. They started it. Reforming entitlements? Sure there's some interest there, but they could have done that in the Bush years? Did they? Nope. Cutting defense? A Republican? As Wayne Campbell might say, and then monkeys will fly out of my butt. Not launching a war on Iran? (You know who else is unlikely to launch a war in Iran? The current president.)

Seriously, dude, this is what the Republican Party stands for: sticking it to gays, making sure their obnoxious version of Christianity rules every classroom, courtroom, and bedroom in the country, killing Muslims, deporting Mexicans, and cutting taxes for the rich. If you're not down with any of that, don't vote Republican, dumbass.

Sullivan supported Obama in 08 and after the election, spent a lot of effort highlighting all the ways that Obama was outsmarting his opponents. He likened him to the roadrunner from the old Looney Tunes cartoons. Whenever Obama did something savvy and his opponents did something stupid, Sullivan would say, "Meep meep."

Methinks the guy is getting meep meep'd all the way into Ron Paul's losing arms....

Never Coulda Made It

This one's for my brother. He loves stuff like this.

Sunday, January 01, 2012

New Year's Roundup

Whew....I made it home tonight without getting pulled over, quite an accomplishment when the cops are on the warpath.

As soon as I got onto the highway, I knew it was going to be dicey. A Lone Tree cop was getting on in front of me and up ahead, I could see another Lone Tree cop had pulled someone else over. Luckily that cop was occupied and the one in front of me got off (probably so he could turn around and terrorize the southbound lanes).

I almost ditched off onto Yosemite, not wanting to take a chance. Nights like this, when the "heat is on" and the cops have nothing better to do than go fishing for DUIs, driving normally won't save you. If they want to pull you over just to get a look at your face, they will.

But I didn't pull off onto Yosemite, because I saw a cop had stopped someone on the overpass. That's two pull-overs and one extra cop, all of them within three exits. The heat was most definitely Lone Tree.

I figured if I could get past the Cherry Creek Reservoir, where the State Patrol has jurisdiction, I'd be alright. After all, once you get past Parker Road, you're in Aurora, and one thing Aurora cops don't do is stupid speed-trap bullshit like that.

I'm sure they'd love to, but as soon as they dispatch Officer Speedtrap, that's when someone shoots up a party or robs a 7-11. They not only don't have the resources to pull everyone over with a cracked windshield, they have more important things to do.

On the other hand, in Lone Tree the Case of the Broken Taillight is the biggest caper of the year. And good for them. The Case of the 11:00PM Sunday Commuter wouldn't be any bigger.

Just Saying

I love the Broncos as much as ever, but I have to say...this is ridiculous.

We barely get an 8-8 record, lose our final game, and somehow we still win our division and play at home in the first round of the play-offs?

That's just a testament to the other teams in the AFC West. They suck worse than we do. Way to go, Oakland, San Diego, and Kansas City. Shooting for the stars...and racking up those draft picks.


Need 4 Speed: Ground Effect from Phoenix Fly on Vimeo.

One false move and splat.

Happy New Year