I've been pretty bummed ever since I came back on the night shift. Here I was, sitting by myself in a dark house at 3 o'clock in the morning on a Wednesday, thinking...is this really my life? Really?
Yes, dude, yes, I'm afraid it is. And it will never change as long as I wallow in complacence, as long as I just shrug and say, "Well, at least I have a job."
The truth is, I've been thinking about this whole thing the wrong way. What's more difficult? To suffer without hope, or to diligently pursue happiness? I think they're probably both equally hard, but it seems obvious that one is more rewarding than the other. And I can't escape the feeling I picked the wrong one.
So I polished my resume and started sending it out, and with any luck, there will be a major change in my day to day life in the near future.
Just the thought of that makes me feel better.