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Saturday, April 16, 2011

Acronyms

Being smart allows you to figure things out.

The other day I was reading something and came across an acronym I'd never see before: HNIC.

Could mean anything, but from the context, I figured out that it means "High Nigger in Charge."

And today, I saw an acronym that read "MENA." Well, from the context, it was clear that meant Middle East-North Africa.

No glossary necessary...if you're smart.

The Job

There have been a few times over the last few weeks that I have wanted to do something completely rash...like quit my job.

If I wasn't the sole bread-winner in the household, I probably would have. Bottom line is this: The job provides for my material well-being, but at the same time, it's killing me.

When I think about the things that make me unhappy --and there are a lot of them, admittedly-- the most significant and daily ones are associated with the job.

Commuting. I don't want to do it anymore. Ideally, I would like to be in walking distance of my job. I'd be replacing a stressful and aggravating near-two hours on the road with a nice relaxing, stress-releasing walk. To some people that would be a nightmare. To me, that sounds like heaven.

Shift work. I don't want to do it anymore. I've been changing my schedule every three months or so for three and a half years now. There are people I've lost touch with completely in that time, others I haven't seen or talked to in months. I have yet to see a relationship survive a schedule change and I'm losing hope that I'll ever have a "normal life" where I can enjoy common things like holidays and sleeping at night.

On Thursday I was casually looking at jobs online and found one that meets this criteria. Thursday night my attitude was "Well, that's nice," but there was little urgency or interest. But the idea percolated all day Friday and today, I think I'm at the point where I want to make this dream come true.

Being asked to work a 12 hour day tomorrow helped...

I said, sure, okay, whatever you need. But I wanted to say, "What the fuck, man? Hire more people."

Thursday, April 14, 2011

The Lounge

I saw it just sitting there for fifty bucks and I had to take it.

I've been looking for something like this for a loooooong time. I'm not crazy about the weird geometric pattern but my cousin re-upholsters furniture, so I have options there.
Looks like my furniture rearranging project isn't quite done...

The Mustache

Alright. I'm growing a Ron Swanson mustache.

Drop in a Token, Look at a Duck

I love it when Republicans get their feewings all hurted by Barack Obama Jr. It happens a lot, because --in case you haven't heard-- ole Barry is a prick of the highest order. You know it. I know it.

If he doesn't scare a child or make a Republican cry, Obama considers the day wasted. That's just the kind of dude he is.

This account sums it up:
House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan (R-WI) attacked the partisan bent of the speech, then characterized it as "a political broadside from our campaigner in chief."
Which is to be expected because this budget battle is mostly (not all) a political battle. We do have a budget problem, but that's something that cool-headed professionals can hash out in committee. It won't be perfect. It won't be pretty. It will probably suck.

But it's not an insurmountable problem.

But what do you do when one side fails to negotiate in good faith? And yes, I'm talking about the Republicans. They want to knee-cap Obama's presidency much more than they want to put together a balanced budget. The budget is not their fight. The budget is the weapon in their fight.

The Democrats, meanwhile, continue to be the weak, cock-chuggers they always have been. They cut a wider swath through the political spectrum, ranging from near-Republican types to Happy Meal-hating activists, so getting them to agree on anything of substance is no small feat. If they truly are about to go partisan on the Republican plan, then you can bet that the Republican plan is too extreme.

It will please Ron Swanson, but leave everybody else in the lurch.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Burt Macklin With the FBI

I'm so glad I found this clip. This had me rolling last night.

From Parks and Recreation. Watch it.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Don't Tread on Me

There's a person at work who has a Gadsden flag sticker on the back of his truck...and a handicapped placard hanging from his rearview mirror. (I'm assuming it's a man...)

Don't tread on him. But he's gonna demand rockstar parking wherever he goes. So what if you have to park way out in the corner under the evergreen that leaks sap on your windshield? What part of "Don't Tread on Me?" do you not understand?

I'm beginning to hate this symbol whenever I see it. It used to stand for something, but now it just stands for asshole.

I was driving home today and got behind some slug. Dumb lady started to go at the green light, then braked for a second --the kind of ill-timed move that gets you rear-ended, and then she went.

So I got away from her and merged into Don't Tread on Me's lane. He had some passengers and they were engaged in some fabulous conversation, I'm sure, but he was slow too!

My shoes split open, pants shredded, shirt disappeared. My eyes got all strange and animal-like and my skin turned green. Don't Tread on Me spotted the change in his rear-view mirror.

Kept adjusting it, probably to make sure I wasn't going to fly out and HULK SMASH his ass. By the time he slowed down to 35 in a 40, moving the mirror, making a big show of it --with Slowness in the other lane blocked any mode of egress-- I knew he was just fucking with me.

Cuz that's the kind of dude he is, an asshole. His sticker says, Don't Tread on ME. It doesn't say anything about treading on anyone else.

The Soft Bigotry of Low Expectations

David Frum is sneaky. He writes a post called "A Great Week for the GOP" and I clicked over, expecting to hear a bunch of triumphalism over the budget deal. But alas, the reason Frum thinks it was a great week for the GOP is that it was a bad week for the lunatics that have such prominence in that party.

The nutters didn't get their shutdown, which Frum calls "a huge victory for governance Republicanism over talk radio conservatism."

Anybody wanna hear the second reason? The second reason is the cancellation of Glenn Beck's TV show, which Frum calls "a heartening repudiation of John Birch society conspiracy-mongering by rank-and-file conservatives." Although, let's be real...All those people who got advertisers to abandon Beck's show? They weren't "rank-and-file conservatives." What did the rank-and-file conservatives do? They made that fucker rich...and then regretted it.

I'm not heartened by this. Rank-and-file conservatives often elevate clowns to prominent places in their political machine. It's nice they feel bad about it, but I just wish they would stop doing that.

Which brings us to Frum's third point, which is too good not to quote at length:
Donald Trump shouldered aside Newt Gingrich in Republican primary preferences. This may not sound like good news but bear with me: It used to be that the person offering the Obama-is-African-not-American message to the Republican primary electorate was a former speaker of the House, a fellow at the American Enterprise Institute, and a Fox News contributor: in other words, an eminent and respectable personage. Now Trump has stolen the Gingrich spotlight, knocked Gingrich out of the top 3. With the result that the bearer of the Obama-not-American message is a clownish TV personality in an absurd hairdo.
This Frum describes as "progress," but it's not much. Instead of just having Dumb, we now have Dumb...and Dumber.

A great week for the GOP indeed.