Saturday, October 23, 2010

Those Scary Muslims

Whatever you do, do not show this website to Juan Williams.

Unless you want to see him shit his pants, which would, admittedly, be kind of funny.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Two Observations

A) A couple hundred years from now, there will be thousands of people running around with Octomom's genes. We're talking exponential growth of Octomom-level stupidity encoded in the human race's genetic profile.

B) In America's political system, we have people like Meg Whitman spending $140 million dollars of her own money applying for a job, basically, which she will have to do for a couple years and which makes considerably less than $140 million bucks. To me, that's a weird investment.

But there may be other factors involved. Ego, obviously. Power, too. Sure, the governor's salary isn't that much, but think of the billions you will control! Whatever it is, something's fishy.


William Friedkin, director of 70s classics The Exorcist and The French Connection, is perhaps the most over rated director of all time.

Have you seen Sorcerer? Man, it was awful.

White Rap

I love the Beastie Boys, but I think it's very strange how they're the only rap act that Denver's modern rock station plays.

And hey, I get it. They're white, they have punk-rock roots, but their music is firmly rooted in the hip-hop tradition. What makes the Beastie Boys acceptible and not, say, DMX?

(I hip-hop stations even play the Beasties? I dunno.)

The Dispensary

You would be forgiven if you thought that the guy who works at my local marijuana dispensary is retarded.

He's not. He's just really, really stoned.


I am not a baseball fan at all...

But I'm so happy that the Yankees lost.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Cut Your Weeds!

I was just complaining to my brother yesterday about my neighbors on the south side.  They've got weeds two feet tall growing in the cracks of their driveway.

And part of me understands.  They're renters.  They don't treat the property like it's theirs because, well, it's not theirs.  They live there, but so?  That doesn't mean they have to mow the yard or trim the weeds in the driveway.  Why do that when you can just walk around?

Now the reason this bugs me is not because it looks like shit --even though it does-- but when you let weeds grow to maturity, they seed. And while I appreciate my neighbor's thoughtfulness in providing the entire block with enough weed-seed to last all next summer, I really kind of wish they would have consulted us. Maybe we don't want your fucking weeds.

Anyway, today as I was going to the laundromat, Code Enforcement pulled up next door with a crew in tow...and well, the weeds are now gone. Thanks, Code Enforcement!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The Auction

This morning I went to an auction with my brother at a storage facility.  I haven't seen that many toothless hillbillies in one place since NASCAR night at the bowling alley.  And really, they have a pretty good racket.

The storage facility, not the hillbillies.  From what I can tell, they can't afford toothbrushes, shampoo, or mirrors, but they can afford to drop a hundred bucks on a storage locker full of junk.

Here's the deal.  You can only look inside, but you can't step over the threshold.  If you bid, you must pay cash immediately.  Then you have 24 hours to remove all the junk, sweep the floor, get it ready to be rented to someone else.  (Preferably someone who pays.)

Like I said, nice racket.  People bid to clean up your storage locker, and then they pay you!  The storage place probably cleared a thousand bucks in less than an hour, and they'll have eleven nice shiny, freshly swept units to rent out to some other guy who has too much shit.

Of course, considering that most of the stuff was considered to be worth less than whatever the fee on the locker, most of it was...well, junk.  Mattresses, old TVs, appliances that might not work.  In one there was an old style heater that I wouldn't have minded, and right next to it a reproduction of the Last Supper...with all black disciples and a black Jesus in the middle.

We didn't bid on anything, but it was still pretty interesting.  An auction like that, where you're basically cleaning up trash, I say let the hillbillies have it.  But in a couple weeks, the City of Denver is having a bike auction that might be worth checking out.

Broncos Country

It was a good game, even if the Broncos lost.

PS. My niece is going to be Batman for Halloween. Yes, Batman.