Saturday, July 31, 2010

Getting Personal

I know a lot of people hoping for Republican victories in November. But I wonder if they've been paying attention to what the Republicans have been doing...

Anthony Weiner of New York has, and it's pissing him off.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Howlin For You

There's a verse in The Black Keys' song Howlin' For You that makes me think of my niece. It goes:
Can't you see?
Little girl's got a hold on me
Like glue
Baby, I'm howlin for you
She likes to grab my hand while we're riding in the car and tell me to "Put your arm right next to you," which in Angelingua means "Try and remove your meaty paws from my iron grip." Little girl's got quite a grip.

The Squeakiest Wheel

This is my response to this David Frum post:
Sorry, David, but I don’t believe this counts as “a serious new burden.” Filling out some extra paperwork? That’s an inconvenience, a hassle, an aggravating pain in the neck. Could it be implemented better? Sure.

But methinks small business owners doth protest too much. They’re just one small piece of what makes this country work, but they seem to expect their concerns to be placed above all others. “Small business owners, small business owners.” Enough already!

What happened to the industrious, can-do small business owners who get the job done? You know, the type who instead of complaining about paperwork just fills it out?
In some circles, the small business thing is a Pavlovian response. You say "small business" and you'll get the "Give em what they want!" cheer right back.

But the truth is that small businesses are the neediest constituency this side of poor single moms in wheelchairs. Seriously.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010


Last week I couldn't get enough of the Mel Gibson tapes. I'm over it now, but last week, I was fiending for it. For some reason, the story fascinates me. It's so...icky. All around. It's one of those stories with no good guys in it.

Mel Gibson is clearly a dick, but what about Oksana? She's recording his phone conversations? Why?

Because she feared for her safety and was building a case against him in court? Uh-huh. That's why the tapes "leaked" to Radar, who cut them up and put them on the internet for people like me.

This is probably my favorite bit from the tape. It's so meta.
How dare you act like such a bitch when I'm being so fucking nice?
That's Mel's problem right there. He think this is "nice."

As a runner up, this one is a pretty good candidate. The Church should send Mel Gibson an exorcist, stat.

And now, onto business:

I joined Facebook finally. Don't bother looking for me by name, because I used a pseudonym. I've already got an internet footprint under my own name with this blog, so it's not about privacy. It's about branding.

Ha! That's sarcasm, by the way. Friend me if you want. I sent a lot of friend requests, but I suspect most people were like whuh?*

If you become my friend, you will receive the following message:
Subject: Thank You For Being My Friend...........
Message: ...and other hit theme songs from your favorite TV show available now for $19.95 plus shipping and handling. Call now and we'll throw in the Love Boat soundtrack free! 1-800-TV-THEME.

(This is not an advertisement. This is a message for [insert name here] from James. Open to residents of the United States 18 years or older. Restrictions may apply.)
You know why? Because I'm going to be a Facebook hooligan.

Speaking of TV... getting a little old with the cameos. It's not so bad when they have John Stamos, who is at least, you know, an actor, but they've had Adrian Petersen, Shawne Merriman, and Jerry Jones on in the last couple of weeks. They can't act! And the writing? Not so great. It's all too...cute. And I still don't buy Vince as a movie star...

They need to wrap it up and make the movie, already.

True a very bloody soap opera, but it's a soap opera nonetheless. It's an occasionally funny one, but mostly it's pretty cheesy. The characters are great though. I loved it when Lafayette told those rednecks, "Go tell your mama two faggots whupped your ass, bitch!" I was rolling.

Hung...speaking of rolling. This show has me laughing all the time. It's not jokey, but sometimes the way Thomas Jane delivers a line just cracks me up. This week's show had him singing Happy Birthday to a woman during sex. She didn't want him to stop. At one point, she wanted him to do it in an accent. Oh, it was funny.

And with that, I will close. I need some Chinese food.

* I can't believe I just typed whuh?


Yeah, so I'm a little behind this, but I heard this song for the first time yesterday. When it came up on my music player, I got all excited. Conquest? Maybe it's about the Conquest of Mexico!

But it's not. It's a pop song, so as usual, it's about male-female sexual relations, which is fine. That's what pop songs are supposed to be about. But, a song about Hernan Cortes and the fall of Tenochtitlan would be cool too. Maybe that's what Mastodon's new record will be about...

Leave it to the metal dudes.

Ya know, I like his music, but Jack White is a grade A poseur. He didn't really stay up all night puking. He just spent twenty minutes in front of a mirror this morning making it look like he did.

That's lame.