Saturday, June 19, 2010

Take That, Fuckers

All xenophobic "English only" brown-hating taco-eating white motherfuckers need to read this story. Excerpts:
"... Eva Romero was born 105 years ago."

She "has a total of 258 great, great-great and great-great-great grandchildren, and the number is still rising."

“I am happy so many people came to help me celebrate my birthday,” Romero, who speaks only Spanish, said through an interpreter. “It is very exciting and it’s fun too.”

She grew up on a farm near Monta Vista.

So let's review...a centenarian raised in Monte Vista, Colorado. Lived her whole life in Colorado, doesn't speak English.

And yes, I'm in a bad mood. If you were working with the Lump, you would be too.

Friday, June 18, 2010


It's Friday, which means that I have to work with the Lump. You know the Lump: the guy who's a tiny speck of uselessness bobbing up and down in a sea of circumstance, just floating adrift and waiting for the Coast Guard to rescue him from his own stupidity.

This morning he comes in moaning about how his "apartment" (he lives in some old lady's basement) was flooded. Then he starts mumbling about how tired he is.

("Fuck, I'm tired," he just said.)

But now I wondering if I'm being unfair. What is it that's so annoying about the guy?

Is it the verbatim re-enactment of every phone call he takes? (Which wouldn't be half as annoying if he didn't playact both sides!) Seriously, dude, can't you just give me a summary?

Quick, tell me about your call in one sentence or less!

ERRRRRRRRT! I'm sorry, better luck next time....

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Jack - RIP

Today is the first day in eight years that I've come home to an empty house with no muppy dog waiting eagerly for my return.

I made the tough decision last night to put my dog Jack down. And man, it was tough.
The poor guy's health has been declining for a long time. He was once an energetic dog who barked at the thunder and bit people that came into my house unannounced. But then his hearing went and his legs got worse and...

It was just time.

But goddamn it, I miss him.

Cops are Pussies

Yes, I know, faithful readers, it's been almost a week since my last post. A week! From the imaginary e-mails (not) flooding my e-mail box, I can tell you're all distraught.

So am I, although for different reasons. (Which I may go into in later post...)

But I did see this and wanted to comment on it:
This is shameful:
Seattle police guild defends officer's teen punch

You don't even need to see the video. Just read the first paragraph of the article:
SEATTLE – The president of the Seattle Police Officers Guild says an officer was justified in punching a young woman who shoved him in a dispute over jaywalking.
Now I can think of a lot of reasons why a big burly police officer would be justified in punching someone.

But a 17 year old girl in a dispute about jaywalking? You know what's justified here?