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Saturday, May 15, 2010

The Little Finch

I either saved a finch this morning, or killed it. I went out for a smoke and the little guy (or girl) was just sitting by the revolving door, this little ball of feathers with black beady eyes and a long little beak.

He saw me. He didn't move. I moved my foot towards him and he didn't move, didn't squawk. He just blinked.

I reached down to pick him up with my sleeve. He didn't fly off. He just blinked.

I wondered if he had been tricked by the mirrored glass on the side of the building and broke a wing colliding with what he thought was a cloud. But he didn't look injured. He just looked at me.

I took him over to a tree and put him on a branch. He blinked a few times, kept up the eye contact. I went inside to pay a visit to the men's room, and when I came back out, the little finch was gone.

Either he had flown off to start off his day, or he fell to his death in the bushes. I hope it was the first one.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Music Notes

The other day, Shinedown's song Sounds of Madness was on the radio. I hadn't heard it, despite having the record, and though it sounds a bit like Load-era Metallica (really, you're going to emulate the Load era?), it does have some amusing lyrics.

I especially like this part:
Yeah, I get it,
You're an outcast.
Always under attack.
Always coming in last,
Bringing up the past.
No one owes you anything.

I think it's directed at all the whiny bands writing soundtracks to teen suicides. They know who they are.

Speaking of soundtracks to teen suicides...you can get the deftones new record now. Having given it a few spins, I'm not sure. I'm never sure with a deftones record. It takes a while to sink in.

One song that stood out is one called You've Seen the Butcher. It's an eerie song. Musically, it starts with some monumental palm muting that just gets more monumental by the bar and culminates in an explosion of Frank Delgado's otherworldly samples and Chino Moreno's moody vocals.

And then there's the lyrics. The first verse could almost describe a seduction.
Don’t wanna take it slow
I’m gonna take you home
And watch the world explode
From underneath your glow yeah
Especially considering "underneath your glow" sounds suspiciously like "underneath your clothes" on the song. But the song takes a sinister turn. Let's not forget, the song is called You've Seen the Butcher. It's not a seduction. More like an abduction.

Cut to another verse:
I wanna watch you close
I need to see for sure
After the tapings through
Who do you think we can show?
Chino Moreno is known for writing inscrutable lyrics and he's even said he's into "images without stories," but when I heard this, I thought of David Parker Ray, the Toy Box Killer. Who knows if that's what the song is really about...but that's what I thought of.

The Original Concept for Mount Rushmore

It wasn't just the heads.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The Last Frost

Woke up this morning, got myself this view.
Yeah, it's May 12th...and there's snow on the ground.

I read somewhere that 5 out of the last 7 years, the last frost has hit between May 11-14. Good thing I haven't transplanted anything yet. I'm still in seedling phase. Though it's been a pain in the ass, I've been "hardening off" some of my flats, but they are all safely in doors as of last night.

These guys have a couple more weeks before they're there yet. They're living pretty on top of my fridge (a cheap warming mat) and underneath a grow light I got for ten bucks at Wal-Mart.
But as of now, things are a bit cluttered for the moment. After the last frost moves out, that will soon change.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Stupid Signs

1) Seen on I-225 just before Parker Road:
BRIDGE ICES BEFORE ROAD
Now I know what the sign is trying to tell me: The bridge will get icy before the road does, so even if the road isn't icy, the bridge might be. So be careful.

But, man, talk about some clunky wording. "Ice" as a verb has so many other meanings besides "gets icy" that it's a bit confusing. Are we talking hockey? Are we talking about murder? Are we talking about treating a sports injury? Are we talking about decorating a cake?

No, we're talking about a road freezing? Well, then the sign should read:
BRIDGE FREEZES BEFORE ROAD
Right?

2) Seen on a big rig truck:
NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR BROKEN WINDSHIELDS. STAY BACK 200 FEET.
We've all seen signs like this, but do we consider how stupid they are?

Consider: If something flew out of the back of that dude's truck and broke my windshield, would he be responsible for it? Yes. Of course! Birds wouldn't be responsible. Air wouldn't be responsible. The rock flying out of the back of his truck would be responsible.

Now would he be legally liable for any damages that arose from said rock? That's another story. I suspect I would be liable if something flew out of my truck and broke your windshield, but then again...I don't have one of those signs.

If I did, would the sign itself be enough to shield me from liability? Doubt it.

But above and beyond issues of "This sign means you can't sue me" stuff, what about that second part?
STAY BACK 200 FEET
Good advice, no doubt, but if I stay back 200 feet, how am I going to read your sign?

Situational Ethics

This is a couple of months old, but this interview with the South Park guys was brought to mind this morning. In it, they say:
"Sean Penn getting on TV on CNN and talking about politics, Sean Penn running around Katrina and Haiti that is funny. That's all. That's fucking funny. And we're going to make fun of you, Sean Penn."
Which is fine and dandy, but I wonder if that works both ways.

Will they say the same thing about Tim McGraw and Faith Hill rallying to help the people of Nashville from their flooding?

The band Widespread Panic is on CNN right now, playing music for the people of Nashville. Is that fucking funny too? Or is it just funny when a liberal does it?

PS. Don't think I'm a bad person, but I can only tolerate about five minutes of South Park. It's not the content, which is often amusing. It's the intentionally bad animation and the intentionally stupid voices.

The Downside of The Sopranos

If you've got Season 2 of the Sopranos playing in the background, you just might find yourself humming to yourself, "Woke up this morning, got myself a gun..."

On Not Making the Team

The Broncos cheerleaders have been picked for the 2010-2011 season, and once again I wasn't picked. Is it because I have no boobs???

Maybe next year...

Monday, May 10, 2010

Just When I Think I'm Out

They pull me back in...

Just as my wounds were healing, another outbreak. I'm back on the drugs. My legs are covered in bandages. Epsom salt and hydrogen peroxide have been my friends.

I bought new sheets and a new comforter. The old stuff will be donated to my trashcan. I might do the same with all of my pants. I'm also thinking about living in a bubble.

The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name

You might have heard that Barack Obama's latest Supreme Court nominee, Elena Kagan, might be a lesbian. It might be true, it might not be.

Ben Domenech, a disgraced blogger who resigned from the Washington Post after plagiarism accusations, wrote about it and the White House kicked him in the shin.

Since then, I haven't heard peep about Kagan's sexual orientation.

This morning on CNN, anchor Kiran Chetry asked Congressional correspondent Dana Bash about Kagan as a "person." I figured she was fishing for some whiff of the lesbianism, but Dana Bash talked instead about how Kagan liked playing poker, but nothing about how she liked girls!

And I think this is a good thing. Maybe the reporters are scared of being kicked in the shin by the White House. Maybe it's irrelevant whether Kagan is gay. Maybe this means the media isn't always salacious and can, on occasion, focus on more important things. Maybe she's not even gay!