Burned

So legendary (okay, that might be an overstatement) stoner rock power-trio Karma to Burn have reunited and have launched their reunion tour. Call me interested.

Take it away, press release:

A cult band with an extensive, highly cherished back catalog, KARMA TO BURN reunited last year after laying dormant for most of the decade and soon embarked upon a reunion tour, including a coveted spot at 2009's Download festival. All this action is captured on the "Live 2009 - Reunion Tour" DVD, which was released domestically on December 15 by Napalm Records, the band's new label home.

But there's a small problem. In April, they're doing Europe. In May, the US.

Of course, fucking Wichita is as far west as they're going.

May 14 - Brooklyn, NY @ Knitting Factory
May 15 - Philadelphia, PA
May 16 - Baltimore, MD @ Ottobar
May 17 - Springfield, VA @ Jaxx
May 19 - Pittsburgh, PA @ 31st Pub
May 20 - Charleston, WV
May 21 - Huntington, WV @ V Club
May 22 - Morgantown, WV @ 123 Pleasant St.
May 23 - Columbus, OH
May 25 - Detroit, MI @ Magic Stick
May 26 - Chicago, IL @ Double Door
May 27 - Madison, WI
May 29 - Wichita, KS @ Lizard Lounge
May 30 - Oklahoma City, OK

What am I doing on May 29th? Probably not going to Wichita.

(Although I am willing to go to Oklahoma City on the 30th...hmmm)

Eine Keine...Whatever

This press release from German metal band Paradox is unintentionally funny.

Here they are complaining about their inability to get concert bookings:

Why PARADOX are not booked is reasoned by the fact that our native concert agencies and festival-bookers for what reason always shows no interest into PARADOX.

For what reason, I ask you!!

It gets better.

Their business runs among themselves and we belongs not to the family. Therefore play also in all regularity same bands on the bigger festivals.

It is not because of us that PARADOX gets to see so rare. We want to give concerts, but nobody of them give us a chance.

If you want to see us playing live, then please write to the magazines, which meanwhile already call PARADOX as Germany's most underrated band or to the forums of the festival sites.

The band already began with the songwriting to the sixth studio album, which will be released in 2011 to their 25th anniversary.

I took their advice. I wrote to the magazines and the forums of the festival sites.

This is what I sent:

Dear magazines and/or forums of the festival sites.

I would like very much Paradox to see at a biggest festival in Germany. What reason they do not play is a mystery of their fans. Give to them concerts as similar bands. Yes, they belongs to the family!

Danke schoen

Arboreal Justice

It's almost like the tree is saying, "Tryin' to cut me down...well, I'll show you, sucka!"

In other funny videos, here's a streaker interrupting a news segment. Warning, full frontal nudity and perhaps the best segue ever. What are the chances? A streaker runs by the camera, then they cut to a segment with a woman saying, "I'm so in shock."

You're not the only one!

Oh no!

Brady Quinn is coming to Denver. I might be put in the untenable position of hoping he does well. And if he flames out, a disappointment to all, it might actually be a little embarrassing instead of "slightly enjoyable" like I had hoped it would be.

So let's go, Orton! Don't let me down, man. You and me, buddy, we're gonna make sure that Brady Quinn stays where he belongs. On the bench.

Next they're going to tell me that they're adding Terrell Owens to the squad. Oh joy.