Saturday, February 27, 2010


So there was a huge earthquake in Chile today. 8.8 on the Richter scale. It's gonna be bad.

And it's going to get worse once Anderson Cooper gets there. He's packing his bags right now.


Slamming the Canadian women's hockey team for celebrating their gold medal? This is what the world is coming to?
If I was there, I'd be lighting their cigars, pouring their beers, and kissing them on the cheek. Cuz they deserve it, dammit.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Now That's What I Call a Drum Machine

This can be described with many words; one of them is awesome.

I won! I won!

I won second place in Outside the Beltway's caption contest this week.

Click over to see the pic and Herb's winning entry. I'm kind of surprised it placed, because though I thought it was humorous, I also thought it was a bit obvious.

And yes, I looked it up. It really is about 7000 miles between Afghanistan to Sturgis.

Quenching My Thirst for Poetic Justice

CNN just reported that Gatorade has dropped Tiger Woods as a sponsor. I had a good laugh at that.

This process of Tiger slowly coming back down to earth has been amusing to me. I mean, you heard the man in his press conference. He convinced himself that the normal rules didn't apply to him.

Because he's good at golf. Because corporate sponsors the world over were sniffing up his butt. Because slutty women who would have nothing to do with him if he wasn't rich and famous dropped their panties for him. Because he makes more money in a minute than I spend in an entire year.

That's understandable --I can't say that if the roles were reversed that I'd be a saint-- but it's no less delusional.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Quote of the Day

"Afraid? I can dodge fear without backing into folly."
- Nero Wolfe, in Rex Stout's The Doorbell Rang
Something to remember the next time you're taking your shoes off at the airport.

Today's Bit O'Comedy

This song is either going to make you cringe or make you laugh, and it might even make you do both.

The story of how you came into this world, The Birthday Song by John Lajoie.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Watermelon Destroyer

Have you ever wanted to watch a muscley woman in her underwear squash a watermelon with her thighs?

Neither have I, until I saw this.

She should crush the cameraman for saying stupid shit. He didn't even laugh! He just goes "Wow!" and you can tell he means it, like it's some kind of turn-on.

No, this is comedy. Girl's got a sledge-o-matic between her legs.

The Sentence

When you get so close, the math starts getting a bit fuzzy. If I counted today, I have 9 more days until my license is unsuspended.

But should I count today? Should I even count the 4th, which is the day the suspension is lifted and I can drive again? If I don't count today and don't count the 4th, that's only 7 more days.

When you're months away, it makes sense to think of it in terms of days. 30 more days, 20 more days, but when it comes down to being next week, it's just confusing.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Timecard Follies

My boss came into the NOC today to inform me that my timecard was wrong and that I needed to fix it. We have an unwritten rule, strictly enforced as it turns out, that if you get shorted a few hours one week because your schedule changes --say, going from 4 10-hour days to 5 8-hour days-- you put down 40 anyway.

I'm sure our payroll department probably wouldn't like that, but the boss lets it go through anyway. Indeed, he insists on it. Because that's the type of guy he is.

People wonder why I work the crazy hours that I do. I wonder, too. But every now and then, paydays mostly, and days like today when the boss hands you some free hours you didn't even expect, I remember why. I work for great people at a great company and maybe I'll get sick of it, but for now that stuff means more than the crappy hours.

Zakk Wylde's Guitars

Because they all have a different sound, man.

Rocket Skates

The deftones are dropping a new record on May 18th. Here's the first song, Rocket Skates.

I'm eager to hear the rest of the album. I've found that often the best songs on a deftones record are the ones they don't promote as singles.

I guess you can download this too, but you have to know the special code. If you find out what it is, let me know.