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Friday, June 19, 2009

Built For Comfort

So I've been riding my bike to work for oh, I don't know, a month now. Not all the way, of course, but at least a couple miles. And I've been losing weight, too, if the loose pants are any indication.

But I never had a scale, so I could never tell how much weight I had gained or lost. I'm a dude. Weight has never been important to me. If I was 300 pounds of solid muscle I wouldn't care.

So I got a scale last weekend and was shocked to find out that I am still a fat fuck. 230 pounds, no change really from the last time I weighed myself who knows when. That tells me one of two things:

A) I'm gaining muscle weight just as fast as I'm losing fat weight.

B) I carry most of my weight in the crotch area.

I'm going with B.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Greetings From the Third World

I hesitated to post this vid because the quality is so crappy. The reason I am posting it is because, well, it's the deftones and Chino does the Max Cavalera countdown in the song.

Um...dois...tres...quat!

That's tiiiight.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Don't Tase Me, Bro

A few years ago, you might have caught me arguing that cops needed more tasers. "The cops are shooting too many people," the younger me might have said. "They need a less lethal way of dealing with dangerous suspects."

Enter...with angels singing...the taser.

Unfortunately, anecdotal evidence indicates that cops still shoot the dangerous suspects --no change there-- and they use the taser as a form of corporal punishment for whoever dares to cross them...even if it's a 72 year old lady who refused to sign a speeding ticket.

Even the clowns on Fox & Friends aren't quite sure what to make of this:

Now I wonder, how would this cop have handled the situation in the pre-taser days. Would he have shot her? For not signing a speeding ticket?

Look at you, man. You're a big fat cop who towers over most people. How tall are you? 6 foot? And how much do you bench? 250? 300? What's that little old lady going to do to you? Get your uniform dirty, scuff your shoes?

There's no cause to pull a weapon out, especially a taser. A taser is for the situations where you want to say, "Look this is fucking serious, but I don't want to kill you, alright? I'm just going to jab you with these darts and shock with 50,000 volts of electricity. All of your muscles will seize up and you will feel the most incredible pain you have ever felt in your life. You'll probably scream out and writhe around on the ground in agony. It won't be pretty. Unfortunately for you, I will mistake your painful throes for resistance, and I will tase you again and, depending on my mood, again. It's all perfectly legal, wrapped up with a little bow, and there's nothing you can do about it. Have a nice day."

But nope, it's just "Say hallo to my leetle friend!" instead.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

A Few Things

No blogging this weekend as I was fixing my fence. What a pain in the ass. Putting in the new fence wasn't bad, but digging out the old, broken posts? Not something one would do for fun.

But here's some of the things I might have blogged about if I wasn't otherwise occupied:

I thought the David Letterman/Sarah Palin thing was put to bed after Letterman offered his explanation, but now I see he has apologized and now says the joke he told was indefensible.

Weak, Dave, weak! Yeah, the joke was weak, but it seems to me that Sarah Palin never actually saw the bit she got all butt-hurt over. She didn't even know which daughter you were slagging on, Dave!

In fact, I might be more sensitive to Sarah Palin's complaints were it not for the oh-so-carefully engineered stupidity.

What kind of airheaded bimbo could think the jokes about having sex and getting knocked up were about young Willow? Someone who didn't know about Bristol.

And you know, as embarrassing as it might be for the Palin family, saying that Bristol Palin got knocked up while having premarital sex, while it may be tasteless, rude, and perhaps even mean to point this out, it's a verifiable fact!

Ta-Nehisi Coates has it just about right:
Sarah Palin is in tenacious possession of a small mind.
Oh, I know, I know. We're just watching the brave mother bear defend her cub.

Perhaps. Or perhaps we're just watching a small-minded whiner complain about shit that doesn't really matter to anyone but herself. Me, personally, I'm a little sick of the "They media's picking on me" crying game she's been playing.

Aren't you the same Sarah Palin that got up in front of crowds talking about the "Real America?" You can dish it out, but you can't take it? I see.

So now that I'm done picking on Sarah Palin, let me pick on Andrew Sullivan.

Kudos, Andrew, for blogging about nothing but Iran and all the crazy things going down there. Definitely newsworthy, definitely good work. But where I get off the bus is when you start harping on the cable networks.

Just because they have not become Iran Election Central like you have, it doesn't mean they are not reporting on it. I'm watching CNN and they've been talking about it quite a bit. Not all the time, of course, but they're not avoiding the story as you imply with this kind of crap:
My slang for when the blog decides to pursue a breaking news story as it happens used to be "we're going cable." But that no longer applies. When history happens, you know now that CNN will not be there.
Sorry, Andrew, but all the tweets, reader e-mails, and AP-file photos on your blog does not make you better than CNN.

It's a little late in the game to start playing that Army of Davids tune again. Blogs didn't supplant the "MSM." It just made the "MSM" bloggier. Just blog about what you want to blog about and leave the horn-tooting to other people.

And now for something totally different:

I always thought Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, starring Kevin Costner, was underrated. I saw it when I was a kid and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Over the years, I always thought it got a bad rap.

But I watched some of it this weekend and was surprised to discover it's bad rap was completely deserved.