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Saturday, September 06, 2008

Jokes

Here's a joke I found floating in the ether. This one's for you, Clay.
What’s the difference between Sarah Palin and Barack Obama?

One is a well turned-out, good-looking, and let’s be honest, pretty sexy piece of eye-candy. The other kills her own food.

Friday, September 05, 2008

I Am One

Choad. N. A worthless dude that chicks like for no apparent reason.


All these years I thought I wasn't one. But here I am, sitting at home when I promised I would accompany my girlfriend to a party. And why? Because my twuck is bwoken.

Choad? You're looking at one.

On a semi-related note, who's bright idea was it to get rid of the grid pattern when it comes to city streets? Now it's all about avenues and main thoroughfares and cul-de-sacs and windy roads that lead you in circles.

In my neighborhood, which is a grid pattern, if you want to get around there are an almost infinite number of ways to do so. I could take Colfax, or 17th or Montview or if I'm really being adventurous, Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard.

But when I go down to the neighborhood where I work, once generally called the Denver Tech Center and now just called the city of Centennial, there are no options. You and everyone else, who also get off at five, are fed onto the main thoroughfares where you can't escape the pack, are forced to drive with one foot on the brake, and if your fucking truck is broken and you're freaking out that it's gonna die on you any minute...well, it's a little stressful.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

The Combover

The combover looks particularly thin in this picture.

The Speech 2

So are there any more Vietnam vet politician who are married to wealthy heiresses? I mean, are we done with this shtick yet?

"Some call him hotheaded. Some call him names that can't be repeated." Like mama's boy?

Listening to all the things he's done for America, I'm reminded of the scene from We Are Marshall when Matthew Fox is trying to convince Anthony Mackie that he's done enough. "You've done enough."

"Perhaps he had more to do..." Yeah, and perhaps he was just lucky.

Woah, is he using Viet Cong propaganda in his bio video? Appears so.

"So he chose to spend four more years in hell." That right there should call into question his powers of judgment.

"The stars align?" Is that a dog whistle to the spiritually minded folk?

Ah, look, it's morning in America. Good video, though.

And there he is. Show a close-up so I can get a look at his combover.

He's got really yellow teeth. I bet he picked those up in Hanoi. Oh, relax...all he's said is "Thank you." We'll get to the substance in a second.

Hey, I thought they said no more green backgrounds.

They keep cutting to a guy with an anti-war sign. Don't do that. Let the man speak.

Okay, looks like the dude is interrupting the speech. Since it was part of the obligatory 9-11 mention, I don't mind. I'm still looking forward to the day when politicians stop using 9-11 as a reason to get elected.

And now the family... If they show the Palin kids again, I'm going to puke.

He says, "I won't let you down" three times, almost as if he's trying to convince him of it.

He throws some respect to Obama but the crowd doesn't like that. "Respect? What's that?"

What's with the waving cowboy hats? Is that a Minnesota thing?

Uh-oh...there's Code Pink again. Jesus. Let the guy give his speech. You look like assholes.

"Americans want us to stop yelling at each other." That got a clap from me.

Get me the head of the man in charge of security! You know when the crowd starts chanting U-S-A they're dragging some raving nutball out of the arena.

The biggest roar for Sarah Palin. Jesus, she's hot. I mean, if we were picking this on fuckability alone, she would win.

"Energy independence, corruption, balanced a budget, cut taxes, and taken on the special interest." You know, at least three of those things aren't true.

Ooh, they're showing the kids. BARF.

Alright, buddy...you just better keep talking about Palin. They're eating it up. And every time you mention her, they show her on screen. And whenever they show her on screen, I get a little bump in the poles myself.

Wow, we've made it a while with no interruptions. Is that all you got, Code Pink?

He got a little excited when he mentioned pork barrel spending. That's his favorite issue.

"I fought for more troops in Iraq when it wasn't the popular thing to do." And the crowd cheers. As if they wanted more troops in Iraq all along... Give me a break.

I'm glad he didn't bring out that "greatest military thinker" bullshit when he mentioned Petraeus. He just said "brilliant" and that I'll grant. But don't me that dude is better than Agamemnon, Scipio Africanus, Genghis Khan, Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar...

Don't look down, John. I can see right through your hair.

He's criticizing the Republican party now, and they don't like it. But they'll drink their medicine I guess. Gotta stop the Muslim dude.

"The party of Lincoln, Roosevelt (Teddy), and Reagan..." No mention of Nixon or Bush. And what about Ike? Dude...I like Ike.

I bet he thought he'd get a bigger howl for that "culture of life" stuff, but instead he got a big howl over judges who legislate from the bench?

Now the fucker is just lying. My Dad always said there were two people you couldn't trust: A liar and a thief.

Just saw the sea of cowboy hats again. Are they sitting in the Michigan section? There's no cowboys in Michigan.

I kind of like his unemployment plan. Don't pay someone to fill in five applications a week. Give them a job, make up the difference in pay, and retrain. Sounds like a good idea to me.

I'll tell you what... If I could make as much as I make in network management as I could as, say, a farm hand, I'd be a farm hand in a minute!

New Rule: Whenever John McCain says something about Barack Obama, assume it's a lie.

The entire Republican National Convention just had a collective orgasm over Alaskan oil. I'm starting to believe that's what the Palin pick was all about. OIL. The GOP is the party of white people and oil.

Nuclear power plants, I'm listening. Flex-fuel, I'm listening.

I'm not into the more drilling thing though. That's going to help people, alright...the people in the oil business. And like I've said before, they don't need any government help.

Calm down on Russia, dude.

Oh, Grandpa's telling a story now.

Now he's complaining about people who go to Washington to work for themselves, and not for the people. Too bad he's talking to a bunch of Republicans, the more selfish of our parties. Some reluctant claps on that one.

The scars to prove it. "You've done enough..."

"A new standard for transparency and accountability." Off to a rocky start there, bud.

I'm so sick of this POW story. Really, great story, but you're using it like a pornstar uses lube: like it's some kind of job requirement. STOP.

So the Viet Cong did break him... And I thought part of the myth was that they never broke him. Glad to see him put on his Mythbusters hat.

A little more mocking of Obama. The crowd loves it. I think it just makes McCain look small. I mean, smaller than usual.

So he trashes Obama one minute, then steals his talking points another. That's as transparent as his scalp!

He goes from "comforting the afflicted and feeding the hungry" directly to fighting. Every time he says "fight" the crowd surges. They like the fight, the other stuff? Not so much.

And he finishes with a country song. YEE-HAW!

I seriously can't wait for 2042.

And here comes the beauty queen. Don't bring your family out this time. Just don't do it. Please.

And here comes the family!!!! FUCK. You gotta give this to the Palin's. They sure know how to bait the hook.

I guarantee you that when Heart first wrote Barracuda they never thought it would be played at the Republican convention. Or maybe they did.

So that's the speech. I hope the Republicans liked it. This was their moment, and now the moment has passed.

I think I'll like Obama's inauguration better though.

Death in Ghettoville

Oh yay. Another murder in the neighborhood. This is literally 5 blocks from my house and those apartments have always skeeved me out. Look at the security! It's the only complex in the vicinity with a gate like that.
And I think it's to keep the bad people in.

The Day That I Thought Would Never Come - Trashing Metallica

"Do you like Metallica?"

"Yes," I lied.

"Here, have this," my school mate said, sliding Metallica's And Justice For All tape across the desk.

I was in the fifth grade, and my exposure to heavy metal until that point was quite limited. At the time, it was all about fish net stockings and lipstick, fashion statements that never found much traction with me.

But then I took that tape home and popped it in and I was transformed. I had never heard riffs like that before. This wasn't "Living on a Prayer" or "Nothing But a Good Time." This was fast and furious, with complicated drum patterns, vast symphonic riffs, and big words. I loved those big words.

I can honestly say that, thanks to Metallica, I know what the words decadence, vanity, supremacy, animosity, blatant, veritgo, hysteria, dementia, megalomania, infamy, ostracized, and oppressive mean. These are not words that are in the average fifth graders vocabulary, but they sent this young fifth grader to the dictionary.

And so a lifelong fascination and love for metal developed, and all that time, I've remained a Metallica fan. Even after Load, Re-Load, their flirtation with an actual symphony on S&M, and their most recent debacle, St. Anger.

But from what I've heard of their new soon-to-be-released record, Death Magnetic, the honeymoon might be over. From everything that I've seen over the last few years, and this is glaring in their Some Kind of Monster movie, their hearts are just not into it anymore.

Just watch this video and tell me you disagree. It's eight and a half minutes and has maybe two minutes of decent riffage. (And "decent" is about the most generous adjective I can use.)

An ear worm, it ain't. It is, however, a bit tedious.

Lars Ulrich sounds like he's looking for the beat instead of laying it down. There's two minutes of awkward balladizing before the verse even starts, and then after suffering through that, we then sit through a boilerplate chorus comprised of a standard (ie, all too familiar) chord progression.

Then it seems that around the 4:30 mark, the song transforms, most likely to tap into that soft-heavy dynamic that has been a staple of metal since Smells Like Teen Spirit. Here they hit their stride.

Lars finds the beat, Hetfield and Hammett remember how to palm-mute, and Rob lays down the backbeat. But that lasts about ten seconds...until Hetfield starts to sing, "Love is a four-letter word." Yes, I can count letters too. Oh, and I've heard that before. It's what we call a cliche.

This is the same man who wrote the lines:
Men of five still alive through the raging glow
Gone insane from the pain that they surely know
That's poetry. "Love is a four-letter word?" Not so much...

By the time Hetfield gets to repeating "This I swear," the song devolves into a lame Avenged Sevenfold parody.

And then we get to Hammett's solo. St. Anger, if you recall, had no solos because at the time, that was the cool thing to do. Thankfully, Metallica decided that solos once again had their place in the music and to prove it...

They tack the solo on at the end. Literally. That it has no organic relation to the song, either musically or emotionally, doesn't seem to bother them one whit. "We've got solos!" they'll say. Big deal, I say. It doesn't count if it sucks.

And this song sucks.

Teen Horniness Is Not a Crime

If you're a fan of Philip K Dick and Donnie Darko, then you'll probably like Southland Tales. If you think Philip K Dick is a little weird and Donnie Darko made no sense, then Southland Tales is clearly not for you. I'm not even sure I understand myself.
The reason I mention this is because one of the leitmotifs for Sarah Michelle Gellar's Krista Now character is "Teen horniess is not a crime."

It's a sentiment I happen to agree with, but I never thought that it would gain such traction in the "family values" crowd. Which just goes to show you that the real world is strange than anything Richard Kelly or Philip K Dick could imagine.

Double Standards

Republican pundits must be getting whiplash, as Jon Stewart documents in this clip:

Preaching to the Choir

One of the big attacks against the McCain campaign is that it's "more of the same." That can be interpreted many ways: More of the same unabashedly right-wing policies, more of the same "culture war" nonsense, more of the same incompetence.

And as every day ticks by, McCain seems eager to prove all the critics right.

Here's Steve Benen on Palin's speech last night:
So, after all of the anticipation, how did Sarah Palin do in her first major speech to a national audience? I think, at this point, it's very clear that she's fully prepared ... to be the head of the Republican National Committee. I don't doubt for a second that she can step up on Day One ... to guest host for Rush Limbaugh.
He continues:
And yet, she (or, more accurately, the McCain campaign aides who wrote her speech) went in a different direction, aiming to shore up the party's base even more. Instead of seriousness, Palin went for biting and sarcastic partisanship. Instead of presenting herself as a trustworthy leader, Palin proved herself an attack-dog ideologue. Instead of answering questions about readiness, she answered questions about who she hates and how much. Palin not only steered clear of the concerns of swing voters, she practically thumbed her nose at them.
This, to me, doesn't seem like a sound strategy for defeating Barack Obama.

Hillary Clinton tried that "motivating the base" stuff and it got her no closer to the White House. Indeed, she watched her base shrink until it was almost singly comprised of PUMA fringers.

You've heard the phrase "preaching to the choir." That's what the "motivating the base" strategy does. The choir would have been there anyway. No new souls are converted.

You might as well not even bother to unlock the doors on the church.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Bold

After Sarah Palin's RNC speech the whole family appeared on stage, with young Bristol holding up little Trig.

This, by the way, is the only authorized use of the Palin children in the political arena. You cannot use them to question John McCain's vetting skills, or Sarah Palin's abstinence-only approach to other people's children. Because that would be beyond the pale.

Got it? Good.

Second Smartest Thing I Heard All Day

"Obama hasn't confused his base for the country."

- Te-Nehisi Coates

A Moment of Panic

So I was heading over to my brother's house when my truck started idling weird. That's the only way I could describe it. Idling weird.

My truck's a pretty smooth ride normally. It's one of those vehicles that you wouldn't even know was on unless you turned the radio down. So when it started sputtering at a stop light I almost panicked.

My first thought was, "Oh shit, my truck's going to die and I'm going to have to push it out of traffic, then call a cab to get home, then call a tow truck company, then get this thing fixed." I could see next month's salary evaporating before my eyes.

Because cab's aren't cheap. Neither are tow trucks or car repairs.

Luckily I made it home, still with the weird idling, and the panic has subsided somewhat. I'm hoping it's just bad gas. If not, I'm fucked.

I'll have to get another job just to pay for my bus pass.

Don't Confuse My Politcal Loyalties With Principles

I picked a really bad week to quit blogging about politics. It's been a non-stop display of insincerity, flip-flopping, and outright hypocrisy, all because John McCain picked Sarah Palin as his running mate.

It's almost like there's been a rift in the space-time continuum, creating a tangential universe that only Donnie Darko can put it back together for us.

For instance, here we have Brent Bozell, certified right wing partisan, who writes:
These alleged journalists are again demonstrating what utter charlatans they are. Every day they lecture conservatives about ‘mean-spirited' politics, yet they spent the entire Labor Day weekend using Gov. Palin's new born son's condition to try to score cheap and shoddy Democratic campaign points. And continued right on doing so when the Palin family announced that their oldest daughter Bristol was pregnant.

These are not reporters, these are hypocritical left-wing advocates using their First Amendment rights as clubs to bludgeon and abuse this fine woman with the lowliest attacks they can drum up.
But he wasn't so generous to another family that also had a pregnant teenager.

Here he is complaining about Jamie Lynn Spears last year:
Had the youngest Spears sister been cast as a tawdry teenage tramp on “Desperate Housewives,” her real-world behavior would be seen as less scandalous. But Jamie Lynn Spears has been a fairly wholesome star on Nickelodeon since she joined the kiddie sketch-comedy show “All That” at the tender age of 11. She’s currently the cool title character of the show “Zoey 101,” set at a boarding school, a show watched by millions of grade-schoolers. So much for role models.

Alright, Jamie Lynn Spears, scandalous. Bristol Palin, victim of a mean-spirited media.

Glad we cleared that up...

Operation E-mail Smear: Phase II

I sent my first e-mail smear today. I sent my Uncle Jim, a McCainiac, and my brother, a Paulite, this picture with the caption: "What Cindy McCain would look like if she had never gotten a face lift."
A low blow? Nah...par for the course. Just going the other way this time.

Frivolity, or Goodbye to All That

I guess my moratorium on politics related blogging is officially over.

Because I just had to note that this man is bald.
That stripe of hair that crowns his forehead was grown on one side and combed over to the other. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Lots of folliclarly challenged men employ the same subterfuge, although none of them do it successfully.

Even Joe Biden's plugs can't conceal his chrome dome. Ever see James Traficant? There are Persian markets where the rugs aren't so obvious.
At any rate, in McCain's case, I think it's medical necessity, not vanity, which keeps him from rocking the bald pate. Such tender white skin and such a mean, mean sun.

The Man From Desperation

Not politics, but comedy.

And, yes, I suck at this "no politics" thing. (I'm okay at Photoshop, though.)

I'm as addicted to blogging about politics as I am to oil.

Raw Data

From the September 08 Playboy's Raw Data section:
Asked by the legislature to define a 60-day supply of medical marijuana, the Washington State Department of Health suggested that patients be permitted a stash of 35 ounces. If you figure the average joint contains .02 ounces of weed and then do the math, patients are looking at nearly 30 joints a day. Duuuude.
Dude is right.

35 ounces would last me over a year, and that's blazing the entire day from wake-and-bake all the way to last-call-for-bonghits.

I'm not sure Colorado has defined similar limits in our medical marijuana program, but if it's anything like Washington's, there might be some doctor-shopping in my near-future...

The Smartest Thing I Heard All Day

Not politics*...but media commentary.

From Andrew Sullivan:
The press doesn't matter so much any more. We all have Google.
Although I suppose it's not too ridiculously crazy to assume that Google might be in on the conspiracy to destroy traditional America, too...


* Okay, a little politics.

Mrs. Frisbee and the Rats of Trademark Infringement

So I was thinking about The Secret of NIMH this morning, mostly because I ran across my copy of Mrs. Frisby and The Rats of NIMH and I remembered how much I loved both the book and the movie as a kid.

But in the movie, Mrs. Frisby is called Mrs. Brisby. Even as a kid, I wondered about that name change. Turns out that it was done for legal reasons so that Don Bluth's production company wouldn't run afoul of Wham-O's trademark on the Frisbee brand.

At the time, early 1980s, this may have seemed like a reasonable thing. Don Bluth was just getting his start in animation and a costly trademark infringement lawsuit would probably kill his venture long before it eventually died a Troll in Central Park related death.

But in hindsight, I think Bluth made the wrong call. He was adapting a book that had won the Newberry Medal in 1972 called "Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH." The surname "Frisby" sounds like "Frisbee" but is spelled differently, and describes a fictional mouse rather than a flying disc toy.

Surely, Wham-O's trademark would not be infringed. If they had decided to pursue it in court, they would have surely lost. But alas, at the time, Wham-O appears to have been in an RIAA-like crouch over their Frisbee trademark.

Thanks to Wham-O, players of Ultimate Frisbee had to change the name of their sport to just "Ultimate." This snippet from Ultimate's wiki provides a cute little dose of irony:
While originally called "Ultimate Frisbee," the sport is often simply called "Ultimate." This is because "Frisbee" is the trademark for the line of discs made by the Wham-O toy company. In fact, discs made by Wham-O competitor Discraft are the standard discs for the sport. For this reason, the sport has also been called "Ultimate Disc" by many teams and clubs. Today, the sport is simply known as "Ultimate."
Take that, Wham-O!

Your frisbee --I'm sorry Frisbee-- sucks. We'll play our flying disc game without you.

A Brief Rant on the Limits of Democracy

I know I said I wasn't going to post about politics until Friday at the earliest, but consider this a post on the subject of democracy.

I've often said that democracy doesn't work when most people are mental midgets and emotionally immature dunderheads.

Exhibit A, Megan McCardle:
On Sarah Palin as a VP I have no particular opinion, except that she doesn't make me any more interested in voting for John McCain. But the people criticizing her are making me considerably less interested in voting for Obama.
So let me get this straight.

Picking Palin has no effect on whether you'll vote for McCain, but picking on Palin is making you wary of the other guy. Ah, yes, let's form our opinions around the reaction to the Palin pick, rather than its actual merits. That would be smart, huh?

Did I say "mental midgets and emotionally immature dunderheads?" I meant mental midgets and emotionally immature dunderheads.

With all the POW talk and the sudden, unexpected calls from social conservatives to "focus on your own damn family," I'm starting to think the entire McCain-Palin ticket can be summed up in a single slogan: "Vote for me because I've been victimized."

And now back to our scheduled programming...

In other news, Safeway finally brought back my favorite flavors of Lucerne yogurt (strawberry and cherry) that have been missing for a few weeks. My daily yogurt intake can once again commence, because I don't roll with that Yoplait shit and no, I don't want the raspberry pomegranate with lime crap.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

The Amazon, Tamed

When I told the guys at work that I believed that the Amazon rain forest wasn't a trick of nature and was instead the product of centuries human habitation, they all laughed at me.

Who's laughing now?

We think of the Amazon as this Edenic paradise, an exotic wilderness untamed by man. The rumbling wheels of civilization can only rip it apart, clear its trees, defile its wetlands, displace its native peoples.

But that's not the whole story, just the most recent chapter. The Amazon basin is known as one of the most bio-diverse ares on the planet, and for thousands of years, the species of primate we call homo sapiens has been part of it. Europeans didn't discover a wilderness untrammeled by human feet. The forests they discovered had already been nurturing human civilization for centuries.
Unlike ancient Andean civilisations, the Kuikuro and other indigenous peoples from the Amazon had little stone close at hand. They built with earth and, once they were gone, the forest reclaimed the land, leaving little trace of the once considerable urbanisation.
Which makes one wonder what would have happened if European disease hadn't wiped them out.

Monday, September 01, 2008

The Way to Succeed and the Way to Suck Eggs

If I were to sit down and write a list of the 50 most influential albums in my life, Ministry's Psalm 69 would be in the top 10 somewhere.

In my formative years, this seemingly strange combination of programmed rhythms and buzzsaw riffs, with movie samples and sound effects thrown in for color, actually made sense to me, not just musically but thematically as well. To this day I don't know half of what Al Jourgensen is saying on the record, but I get it.

The song Psalm 69, in particular, found a young atheist shrugging off the last motes of belief, and though the song didn't make me reject God, it sure helped me feel better about doing it.
I mishead the lyrics, though, as "Drinking the blood of Jesus, drinking it like it was wine."

For some reason, I like that better.

You Neglected to Mention the Pregnant Daughter...

I forgot all about the state trooper scandal.

Reluctantly spreading Palin's dirt.

Just thought of that. And with that, I'm done, folks. No more politics posts until Friday at the earliest. I promise. I'll find something else to write about instead, huh?

Thank ya very much and have a great night. If you're driving, don't drink. And if you drink, don't drive...

Obama on the Latest Palin Scandal

Obama's a big man. Bigger than me...
BO: I have heard some of the news on this and so let me be as clear as possible. I have said before and I will repeat again, I think people's families are off limits, and people's children are especially off limits. This shouldn't be part of our politics, it has no relevance to governor Palin's performance as a governor or her potential performance as a vice president. And so I would strongly urge people to back off these kinds of stories. You know my mother had me when she was 18. And how family deals with issues and teenage children that shouldn't be the topic of our politics and I hope that anybody who is supporting me understands that is off limits.
Say what you will about his wife, his skin color, his funny name, his religious beliefs, or his friends.

The man has the character of a giant.

Life Happens

I guess teen moms and premarital sex is okay with the "social conservative" crowd now?

Life happens?

Do these people have any principles they're not willing to chuck when politically convenient?

Beating Protesters

Uncle Jim told me about this video the day it happened, but I didn't see it until today. Uncle Jim thought it was hilarious!

I fail to see what's so funny about a big burly cop with a nightstick shoving a girl to the ground.

Oh, she's with Code Pink? Well, that explains it... In America, your Constitutional rights to free speech and free assembly are revoked if you join a left-wing organization like Code Pink.

Normal citizens with rights can expect avoid being beaten down by the police, but when it happens to Code Pinkers, they fucking deserve it!

And I can totally understand the cop, too. I mean, look at that chick! She may be a foot shorter than him and a hundred pounds lighter, but why take a chance? Maybe she knows kung fu.

Maybe she was about to use her backpack as a weapon and you expect our cops to defend themselves with nightsticks against backpacks of mass destruction?

Maybe she was emanating so many feminine pheromones that the cop had an involuntary spike in his testosterone levels and he just couldn't help but revert to a more primitive, less-evolved state.

Oh, what a big man he is! He can beat up a girl!

And listen, I'm not a big fan of protesters, even if I support their cause. It doesn't matter what the cause --ending the war, freeing Tibet, stopping abortion-- if you put together a list of ways guaranteed NOT to accomplish your goal, standing on the corner with a sign and shouting at passersby would be at the top of the list.

Code Pink has been fighting to end the Iraq war longer as the military's been fighting the insurgency. It's been 12 years since the Tibetan Freedom Concert and Tibet is no freer than it was in 1950. And hey, pro-lifers, you're going to need more than those fetus-gloop posters to overturn Roe V. Wade.

So I understand the animus directed at protesters, busy-body time-wasters who will accomplish nothing and annoy many, but what I don't understand is the complete and total loss of perspective and human decency.

The dude beat up a girl. He doesn't get a high five.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Never Again

This is what Bush and McCain were doing during Katrina.
This year, for Gustav, they're launching the War on Weather, saying "Never again will the world's most powerful storms threaten us with dangerous flooding."

If through some miracle McCain wins the election, we can expect right wing pundits to say things like, "Since McCain's been in office, there have been no American cities destroyed by hurricanes."

Because if the Bush administration has proved one thing, it's that even if they fuck it up the first time, they don't make the same mistake twice!

Doh!

Man, my blog is quickly becoming a one-trick pony. Nothing but politics, politics, politics. I need a new gimmick.

Anyway, I think I might have figured out why John McCain picked Sarah Palin as his VP pick...
Never let em see you sweat.

Or checking out your VP's ass while twiddling your wedding ring.

The Comparison

Just heard Fred Thompson say with a straight face that Sarah Palin has more experience than Barrack Obama. Yeah, I've heard that too, but I don't believe everything that I hear.

And at any rate, it's bullshit. And I don't say that because I'm a committed Obama supporter and a legitimate McCain hater. I say that because by any objective measure of the experience angle, Obama clearly has a thicker resume. And it's the height of hackery to claim otherwise.

Consider...

Education:

Obama transferred from a liberal arts college to ivy league Columbia University and later graduated with a BA in 1983 (Major: political science). In 1988, he pursued his JD at Harvard Law School, which he received in 1991. While at Harvard, he was president of the Harvard Law Review.

Palin took her high school basketball team to the State Championship in 1982. She later studied journalism at the University of Idaho, graduating in 1987 with her BS. (Major: Communications-Journalism)

Professional Experience:


After graduating, Obama worked for Business International Corporation, "a publishing and advisory firm dedicated to assisting American companies in operating abroad," and from 1985-1988, he worked as a community organizer in Chicago. Once he got his law degree, Obama spent twelve years teaching constitutional law at the University of Chicago Law School. During that time, he was also a member of lawfirm Davis, Miner, Barnhill & Galland.

Also according to Wikipedia, he's served on more than his share of boards too. (I guess that doesn't count as "executive experience" in Republican la-la land, huh?)
"Obama was a founding member of the board of directors of Public Allies in 1992, resigning before his wife, Michelle, became the founding executive director of Public Allies Chicago in early 1993. He served on the board of directors of the Woods Fund of Chicago, which in 1985 had been the first foundation to fund Obama's DCP, from 1993–2002, and served on the board of directors of The Joyce Foundation from 1994–2002. Obama served on the board of directors of the Chicago Annenberg Challenge from 1995–2002, as founding president and chairman of the board of directors from 1995–1999. He also served on the board of directors of the Chicago Lawyers' Committee for Civil Rights Under Law, the Center for Neighborhood Technology, and the Lugenia Burns Hope Center."
Palin on the other hand, worked as a sports reporter for a while before starting her political career in 1992 as a member of the city council in Wasilla, Alaska. From 1994-97, she and her husband ran a motorsports business of some kind (snowmobiles, ATVs, etc) but I've been unable to find out what kind. Repair? Sales? Rentals?

That's all I've been able to find about Palin's experience in the private sector, and I'm willing to stipulate there may be more, but so far, that's all I've heard.

Political Experience:

Before seeking public office Obama worked for political interest groups throughout the 90s, that "community-organizing" he's always talking about.

In 1996, he was elected to the Illinois Senate and served three terms (1996-98, 98-02, 02-04) before running for the US Senate in 2004.

In '00, he ran for the House of Representatives, but lost.

In 2004, he was elected as one of Illinois' two US Senators and served as the keynote speaker at the DNC.

In 2008, he defeated Hillary Clinton in the Democratic primary and became his party's nominee for President.

For Palin, she was elected to the city council of Wasilla, AK (population: 6,715) in 1991 and served two terms (one starting in 92, the other in 96).

In 1996, she became Mayor of Wasilla.

In 2002, she ran for Lieutenant Governor, but lost.

From 2003 until 2004, she was Chairwoman of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission.

In 2006, she was elected Governor of Alaska. Just a few days ago, she was selected by John McCain as his VP pick.
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As far as I can tell, all the above information is factual. I got it from Wikipedia, so it shouldn't be considered authoritative, but I'm willing to assume that for the most part it's pretty accurate.

It also pretty much exposes the "more experienced" line as either A) an ignorant assertion not backed up by the facts, or B) blatant distortion. Unfortunately, when you have Republican hacks like Fred Thompson doing B you're going to get a lot of A.

Absent the political motivation, asserting that the former sports anchor/small town mayor has "more experience" in any way than the ivy league educated law professor/legislator is absurd.

Got that, absurd!

(PS. I should also say that some of the things that the hacks are trumpeting as Palin's qualifications are just as absurd. She has five kids? She likes to hunt? She's physically active? Everyone in America should be looking at themselves in the mirror wondering why they're not qualified for McCain's VP pick. Everyone but the childless, non-hunting, couch potatoes, I guess.)

(PPS. In the process of looking this stuff up, I found myself being incredibly impressed by Obama's resume. Super-educated, super-involved with the community, super-employed, super-distinguished. If his past performance is any indication, he'd make a super president.)

Only In An Election Year...

You can tell it's an election year when Republicans forgo the politicking for, you know, governing. They're thinking of postponing the RNC due to Gustav!
"“It just wouldn't be appropriate to have a festive occasion while a near-tragedy or a terrible challenge is presented in the form of a natural disaster,” McCain told Chris Wallace of “Fox News Sunday” in an interview taped for Sunday. “So we're monitoring it from day to day and I'm saying a few prayers, too.”"
You do that, bud.

Also, what the hell is this? "A near-tragedy or a terrible challenge." You couldn't just say "natural disaster?" Dude...