So I sent this e-mail to his whole distro. (Grammar errors corrected)
I'm voting Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
I'm voting Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
I'm voting Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they now think we're good people.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday CAN tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe three or four pointy headed elitist liberals need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe that when the terrorists don't have to hide from us over there, when they come over here I don't want to have any guns in the house to fight them off with.
I'm voting Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my horse.
I'm voting Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.
Makes ya wonder how anyone would EVER vote Democrat, now doesn't it?
And this is why I'm voting Republican:
Because I believe that the government will do a better job of spending my money in Iraq than I would keeping it here.
Because I believe that freedom of speech is fine as long as you're not criticizing General Petraeus and you're not an organization called Moveon.org.
Because I'm not sure who the "bad guys" are in Iraq, and maybe...just maybe....those crazy jihadis set up along the Afghanistan-Pakistan border will vacation in Baghdad so we can kill em, kill em all!
Because I believe the same folks who spill oil on the coasts and pollute entire communities are telling the truth when they say their actions have no harmful effects on the environment.
Because I believe that when businesses make profits, it should go to the CEO and the Board of Directors, and the thousands of employees under them should just be grateful to have jobs.
Because I believe that three or four religious nutcases need to rewrite the Constitution so that Jesus won't get mad and destroy us with fireballs.
Because I believe that the next time a plane gets hijacked by terrorists, the shotgun next to my bed is going to stop them.
Because I believe that when I get married, the government is okay with who I chose to be my spouse. If they say no...well, I guess I'll just have to respect that decision.
Because I believe that oil company profits should be used to prop up unfriendly dictators in the Middle East and squeeze the American middle class.