Friday, February 29, 2008

Art Apocalypse

Chelene over at Bliss and Bile finally (finally?!) got around to watching Children of Men and asks an interesting question.
Anyway, there's a scene in the movie where Clive Owen goes to visit his government-employed cousin in his fortified, but still chic, compound. The cousin has Michaelangelo's David and Picasso's Guernica which, he explains, he saved from destruction once the world went to crap.

Question. What work of art would you save if you could?
It's a tough question. At first you might think it's a question of what work of art is most worth saving. I mean, we're talking hypothetically here, right? So hypothetically, you can fly to Paris, walk into the Louvre, and take Mona Lisa off the wall, put it in its protective case, and then cart it back to your art sanctuary.

But if we were to be true to the situation, it may not be practical to save the Mona Lisa because, well, the world went to crap. Maybe the Mona Lisa is already destroyed. Maybe someone else saved it. So you don't get the Mona Lisa, so you have to choose something else. Another Da Vinci. Maybe something one of the other Ninja Turtles painted.

Or maybe, just maybe, you should stick with what you know and what you have access to. Maybe it's not the most famous painting or the most significant work. But you can save it.

That's why I picked Linda by John DeAndrea. Because if the world goes to shit, me and the Army of Twelve Monkeys can save Linda.

As long as we had access to a truck.

Essay Question: Was Clive Owen's cousin saving the art works for humanity's sake, or the sake of his own ego?

Thursday, February 28, 2008

The Centennial House

They call this the Centennial House because it's over a hundred years old. No one lives there, but they do open it up for tours.
There's a few other old Victorians on the surrounding blocks, remnants of the area's small town past.

Ghetto Sacred

I went on a bike ride this morning, just tooling around the neighborhood, and I found this strange unfinished statue of Buddha sitting on what would otherwise be a (fenced in) vacant lot between two dilapidated businesses.
The crooked rebar surrounding it might have been intended as reinforcement for a more ornate base or a fountain or something. As it is, it's little more than a jagged fence around the statue.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

How People Find Me

My most popular post (about my ex-girlfriend) gets all kinds of hits from random Googlers with drama that makes my own seem small.

A sampling, with advice:

"me and my ex have been hooking up but she has a boyfriend" - I feel sorry for you, buddy. I really do. Your ex seems like a real snatch, which provides you pretext to drop her. So drop her.

"seeing your ex girlfriend with another guy" - It's a painful experience, I know. Especially when she marries him later. But that's her life, not yours.

"how to break my ex girlfriend and her new boyfriend up" - There are many ways to do this. I recommend none of them. Let it be.

"how to deal with a deceitful x girlfriend" - You don't. Deal with your honest current girlfriend.

More Controversy Where We Need None

I don't know what the NY Times is smoking, but I'll keep on smoking the stuff in my own stash. While I don't mind the munchies, I wouldn't want a case of the stupids.

The headline:
McCain’s Canal Zone Birth Prompts Queries About Whether That Rules Him Out

If a kid born on a military base to two US citizens isn't a "natural born" American, then we seriously need to rethink our citizenship standards.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

TSA Gangstaz

I saw this on Boing Boing and it cracked me up!
I love nerdcore.
I'll jack your gold-plated penknife, bitch, and that's reality.
You better lose your pre-nine-eleven mentality.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Protocols of the Elder Statesman

If you want to be the President of the United States, the last thing you want to do when you go to a foreign country is wear their funny clothes. You're an American, dammit, and since you're an American, everywhere you go you are surrounded by a little piece of America.

Do not honor foreign religions by conforming to their strange fashions.
Do not honor their weird customs, no matter how much oil they have. You're an American, dammit, a manly man. And men don't hold other men's hands.

And if someone asks you to wear a kimono, do not do it, even if Vlamir Putin does it first.

You must understand. You're an American, dammit. You must always wear a suit, and on your lapel, an American flag pin.

(Echoes of Chris Rock in the "American, dammit" stuff.)

Fun With Photoshop

Since I have nothing better to do than photoshop out the American flag lapel pins that Reagan (never) wore, I decided to do some more.

Here's a very presidential-looking portrait of my man Ronnie, but guess what? No pin. Am I an artist or what?

This one was tough... Not only did I have to remove the pin from Ronnie's lapel, but Nancy had one too! You need a steady hand to erase a single flag pin, but you gotta be a damn surgeon to erase two! I just make it look easy.
The angle of this picture isn't the best, but you don't see a flag pin on his lapel now, do you? Thanks, Magic Wand Tool!

Not content with just separating the Reagans from their flag lapel pins, I decided to get Bush into the act. The first Bush.
That one was tough. There was a shadow on his lapel that proved tricky with the healing brush...

You want to talk tricky, though, you gotta talk about Bush the Younger. Removing the American flag from Dubya's lapel is kind of like removing the adamantium from Wolverine's skeleton. It can be done, but must be done carefully.

Somehow I succeeded.

Looks less like the leader of the free world than Osama Bin Laden's front man, huh?

To make matters worse, I totally defiled this familiar portrait of our 43rd President. Can you tell me what's missing?
If you answered "morality" you get points for effort, but the true answer is no pin.

P.S. My point can be summed up in the words of Tyler Durden: Sticking feathers up your butt doesn't make you a chicken.

On the same token, wearing a pin on your lapel doesn't make you a patriot and NOT wearing one doesn't make you an America-hater.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

When I'm Gone

I haven't heard this song in a while, and tonight it came up on a shuffle. As usual, it gave me chills. Reminds me of my brother, of the war. And those memories are gut-wrenching.


Yes, I know Obama has been taking some heat for his soaring speeches about hope and harmony, but hey, everyone's gotta take some heat sometime in their lives.

But if one of your biggest negatives is that you're too hopeful and inspiring, well...that's not so bad, is it?

I mean you could be a condescending bitch instead, right?

No Pin, No Vote

I'm starting to rethink my support for Barack Obama. Not because my cynical nature is starting to question all this "hope" and "yes, we can" talk. No, it's because of his refusal to wear an American flag pin on his lapel.

I cannot in good conscience vote for a guy who doesn't wear a flag pin. It's not enough to say you love your country. You must show it too.

You know who else didn't wear an American pin? This guy....and I didn't vote for him either.

You might think it's because I was only 8 the last time Reagan faced an election, but nope. Look closer at that picture.

No pin.

None here either:

Or here.

Obviously, Reagan hated America...which begs the question, how did the guy ever get elected?