Saturday, October 27, 2007

My Right Wing Chain E-mails

This blog cracks me up. I used to get these e-mails from my Dad all the time...well, before he disowned me. I still get them from Uncle Jim and every now and then, when they reach new heights of ridiculousness, I'll hit "reply all" and fire off a moonbat screed of my own.

This is the latest:
I usually don't pass along these "add your name" lists that appear in my
e-mail, but this one is too important. This email has been all across the
United States multiple times and the length of the list speaks volumes. Do
your part!!!!! Please keep it going!

To show your support for Hillary, and encourage her on her run for President
of the United States in 2008, please add your name to the rapidly growing
list below and send it on to your entire e-mail list.

1. Bill
2. Chelsea
Here's another one:
1) "We're going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good."

A. Karl Marx
B. Adolph Hitler
C. Joseph Stalin
D. None of the above

2) "It's time for a new beginning, for an end to government of the few, by
the few, and for the few...and to replace it with shared responsibility for
shared prosperity."

A. Lenin
B. Mussolini
C. Idi Amin
D. None of the Above

3) "(We)...can't just let business as usual go on, and that means something
has to be taken away from some people."

A. Nikita Khrushev
B. Jose f Goebbels
C. Boris Yeltsin
D. None of the above

4) "We have to build a political consensus and that requires people to give
! up a little bit of their order to create this common ground."

A. Mao Tse Dung
B. Hugo Chavez
C. Kim Jong Il
D. None of the above

5) "I certainly think the free-market has failed."

A. Karl Marx
B. Lenin
C. Molotov
D. None of the above

6) "I think it's time to send a clear message to what has become the most
profitable sector in (the) entire economy that they are being watched."

A. Pinochet
B. Milosevic
C. Saddam Hussein
D. None of the above


(1) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/29/2004
(2) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 5/29/2007
(3) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007
(4) D. None of the above. Statemen! t was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007
(5) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 6/4/2007
(6) D. None of the above. Statement was made by Hillary Clinton 9/2/2005

Be afraid. Be very, very afraid!
You ever get similar e-mails about right-wingers?

Nah, me either...

Keep 'em coming, though, Jimmy! I keep waiting for a good one to "reply all" to.

Maggots and MRSA

Not to gross you out or anything, but there's been a lot of talk about this super-bug that's seemingly killing kids everywhere. (You know how it goes...a few highly publicized cases and suddenly we're facing an epidemic.)

Well...I have a solution.

Maggot therapy.

Even as you squirm, consider this (from wikipedia):
In vitro studies have shown that maggots inhibit and destroy a wide range of pathogenic bacteria including methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA), group A and B streptococci, gram-positive aerobic and anaerobic strains. In a published review of five patients who were infected with MRSA, some having failed conventional therapy for up to 18 months, maggot therapy was able to eliminate the bacterium from all wounds in an average of 4 days.[citation needed] Maggot therapy therefore represents a highly cost-effective method for managing MRSA infection without exacerbating the problems of antibiotic resistance.
Definitely gross...but interesting.

Friday, October 26, 2007


So...since I'm the guy who works overnights, I also get to choose the news channel we watch up on the video wall. My choice this week has been MSNBC.

Here's a few reasons, hardly any of them noble:

1) Kiran Chetry's nasal voice annoys me. Plus I'm still having trouble forgiving her for her Fox News stint...

2) I like Joe Scarborough. Yeah, crazy, huh? Super-moonbat James likes Joe Scarborough. And it's not because he looks like Tom Hanks's little brother.

3) Jackie Meretsky is the hottest weather woman EVER. (Sorry, Stephanie.)

4) The new Scarborough Country set is kind of cool.

5) Chris Matthews was right. Erin Burnett is absolutely beautiful. (And I mean, really really really absolutely beautiful.) Smart too.

6) I have to put it on some kind of news channel, which pretty much means CNN or MSNBC. (And yes, that's a dig at Foxnews.)

If you think these reasons are scurrilous...just know this.

I'd rather just keep it on the NFL network...


I've never seen him on the show, but Morning Joe's wiki-page says that John Ridley is a contributor from time to time. John Ridley? I love that dude!

8 Films to Die For

Now I'm watching The Abandoned, one of the movies from last year's After Dark Horrorfest. (8 Films to Die For. Here's the whole list.)

I've only made it through the trailers and I can tell you right now...sitting in this empty building all by myself, I got a little creeped out.

The Gravedancers and Reincarnation look particularly scary!

FREAKY, man!


So The Abandoned was actually pretty good for a low budget horror film. Rather than a retread of the familiar formula, it actually broke some new ground and had an interesting story. I'd say it was a mix of The Shining, The Others, and Hannibal.

You need a Halloween rental, yeah, I'd recommend it.

Bonus: The trailers for the other Horrorfest flicks, all of which are available on Netflix. (Better hurry though...I'm fixing to go on a Horrorfest binge.)

Fantastic Two

I just watched the new Fantastic Four movie and it was baaaaaad....

But it was redeemed by two things:

1) Jessica Alba
2) Kerry Washington

Jessica's blond hair and blue contacts were a bit distracting, but so was that tan and that skin-tight outfit. Woah.

Oh, and in the third one, can they make Kerry Washington's character, you know, an actual character rater than just a prop. She's a very pretty prop, no doubt, but come on, man!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

The War on Christmas is Starting Early This Year

I found this comment on a post about the latest Scott Beauchamp revelations. (Pick your favorite right-wing blog to get the details on that pile of bullshit.)

It manages to be a microcosm of right-wing silliness.
They’re still obsessing about Beauchamp? I thought Michelle declared open season on Asians who donate to Hillary today. And does this mean they won’t have a War on Christmas this year? I so look forward to that one.
Tell me, reasonable conservatives. Aren't you sick of being associated with these jokers yet?

Blood On Her Hands

This picture is great.Who's the crazy woman?

The one who feels Iraqi suffering so acutely that she would put fake blood on her hands and make an ass of herself in front of the Secretary of State?

Or the Secretary of State who thinks Iraqi suffering is not only justified but necessary to fulfill her geopolitical ambitions?

Perhaps they are both insane...

More on Roads

You know, I like The Atlantic's stable of bloggers. You have Yglesias, Sullivan, Douthat, Ambinder, Fallows, and even Megan McArdle. Every now and then, though, they'll say something that makes me go WTF?

McArdle is particularly good at it and I've been scratching my head over a paragraph she wrote a few weeks ago. This is what got me:
The massive subsidy provided to drivers in the form of free roads is obviously producing highly inefficient outcomes, which is why DC feels like a prison from which it is impossible to escape unless one wants to spend four hours on the Beltway. We clearly need to institute comprehensive road tolls combined with a congestion pricing scheme. Plus, of course, a carbon tax to compensate for the negative externalities drivers are imposing on those of us who use primarily mass transit.
At first I thought she was only half serious, arguing with a little bit of hyperbole to make her point. But I asked her in the comments if she was kidding and her response indicated that she was being serious.

But is that paragraph serious?

Can you legitimately call roads a "massive subsidy" for drivers without completely changing the definition of the word "subsidy?" Even if she was only speaking metaphorically (roads are like a subsidy), it makes no sense. You get a lot of leeway with metaphors, but they still have to make some kind of sense. I can say "Her face was like stone" and you'd know what I was talking about, but if I said, "Her face was like a birthday cake," you'd go....huh?? She doesn't have any frosting on her face or burning candles...

Good metaphors communicate. Bad metaphors confuse.

And where are these "free" roads that Megan's talking about? "Free to use," sure...but that doesn't mean the roads are "free." The construction and maintenance of roads are paid for by taxpayers, no? Now she wants "comprehensive road tolls" and a "congestion pricing scheme?" Why, so taxpayers can pay not only for building and maintaining public roads, but using them too? How is that NOT double-dipping?

And who's going to manage these toll-roads and her pricing scheme? A state agency? A private for-profit company? None of those options seem very desirable to me.

I find it hard to believe that a libertarian like McArdle is actually floating a proposal that would expand (or create from scratch) a government agency to tax people twice. Doesn't sound like a libertarian idea, or even a good one. Who would benefit from that? The government, quite clearly.

And giving the roads to a for-profit company? Fuck that! Let them build their own assets. I have no problem with a for-profit company building a road and then charging people to drive on it. But when you're talking about a publicly funded road being handed to a business interest, HELL NO! Talk about a fucking subsidy!

I'm not even going to mention the carbon tax... I'm not a big supporter of taxes designed to influence people's behavior, so I can't find much merit in the idea. Still, I'm not categorically opposed to such a tax. It might be a good idea, might not. Still, I would think a tax-and-spend liberal would propose such a thing, not a self-described libertarian!

When it's all said and done, though, I can't really fault Megan for proposing such things. Maybe her ideas (road tolls, congestion pricing schemes, a carbon tax) would work in DC, where she lives now, or in NYC, which is where she is from. But out here in the less urban, more geographically dispersed west, they just seem kind of silly.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Pecking at Beck

What's with this dude?And more importantly...what's with this picture?

What is it, exactly, that you're trying to convey with that pointed finger, Glenn? Are you telling me that I'm the man?

Or are you accusing me of something?

Are you watching me like DeNiro watched Stiller in those Meet the Parents movies?

Are you singling me out? Is that what you're doing? What'd I ever do to you, man?

I just don't get the cocked eyebrow either, or the devilish little grin. I'm not sure if it's charming...or evil.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that your face, Glenn, is a Rorschach test. I'm just not sure what it's supposed to be.

All I know is that pointing at people is very rude.

Ambition is Good

Matt Yglesias says:
...I would strongly, strongly, strongly caution liberals against making non-greediness some kind of core political virtue.

Then he says:
...the vast majority of people would benefit from living in a society with high quality public services, adequate environmental protections, a foreign policy focused on international cooperation, and a healthy regard for individual autonomy.
All of which can't be accomplished with greed.

Perhaps what's beneficial isn't the greed, but the ambition?

Build a Better Mousetrap

Boing Boing linked to this non-lethal mousetrap. Clever, but useless as I suspect a mouse would have no problem jumping out of that glass.

Why not kill these vermin anyway? They're mini biological weapons who want to shit in your cabinets and nibble on your food. They should be destroyed!

Paging Dr. Loeb

Tomorrow afternoon I have an appointment with my new doctor. I was hoping for morning - the afternoon is really kind of my "late-night" stretch - but I'll take it.

They asked me the same question I was asked in Vegas when I got a massage. Do you have a male or female preference? Um...well, since this is a therapeutic massage and not a "happy ending" massage, I don't care! If it's a dude, make sure he has good strong hands, that's all I'm asking.

As it turns out, my new doctor is a woman. I don't care. I just hope she gives me a happy, diagnosis.

Ron Paul - Banned!

A blog named Red State has banned Ron Paul supporters in their comments section. It sounds like a joke, but I'm dead serious...and so are they apparently.

In their own words:
Effective immediately, new users may *not* shill for Ron Paul in any way shape, form or fashion. Not in comments, not in diaries, nada. If your account is less than 6 months old, you can talk about something else, you can participate in the other threads and be your zany libertarian self all you want, but you cannot pimp Ron Paul. Those with accounts more than six months old may proceed as normal.
Wow. I'm not even sure what to say about that.

Of course, Red State can sing "It's my party and I can cry if I want to" if they want. No one said they have to allow people to shill for Ron Paul.

It just kind of tells you all you need to know about Red State's view of free and open debate.

Puking Blood

How much blood do you have to puke up before you should be concerned? That was the question I was confronted with this weekend.

I woke up Sunday morning feeling pretty crappy, thinking that the pounding in my head and the knot in my stomach was because I hadn't eaten anything since Saturday afternoon. So I went to breakfast.

When I got home, belly full, I still felt somewhat woozy so I collapsed in my chair. As long as I didn't move, I was fine, but if I tried to stand, spasms of nausea hit me in waves. I managed to get up, grab a couple of Rolaids, and fall into bed, chomping on them.

As I lay there, chewing on the Rolaids and trying to breathe, that familiar realization hit me. I'm going to puke. I don't know about you, but when that realization hits me...when the words "I'm going to puke" actually form in my brain...there's no two ways about it:

I'm going to puke.

Luckily for me, I made it to the bathroom without tossing my breakfast all over the floor and by the time I bowed before the throne, the convulsions began. Sparing you the gory details, suffice it to say that when I looked down with blood-shot, tear-streaked eyes I had the thought, "Wait a second...I didn't eat anything red."

It's definitely not the realization you want to have when you're puking your guts out.

I probably should have gone directly to the hospital or at least made an appointment with the doctor, but I didn't. Not yet.

But I will...once I pick out a doctor. Yeah, I haven't picked out a new doctor since I got the "new" job over a year ago. I guess that's the downside to being a generally healthy guy.