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Saturday, July 21, 2007

Alternate Universe

What Posh would have looked like if she hadn't found fame and fortune with the Spice Girls and true love with David Beckham.

Don't Believe the Hype

Interesting, of the thousands of bad guys held in US detention centers in Iraq, only 135 are foreigners, and most of those are from the Kingdom of Saud. (I don't for sure how many thousands are held, but Juan Cole says it's somewhere around 19,000.)

A couple of inferences can be drawn from that. Either the foreign fighters are really good at not getting caught...or there's a lot less of them than is widely believed.

Some perspective: There's more than 135 foreigners on my block.

(Okay, bad example.)

Went Insane, Got No Brain

Look at this crazy man. The measured tone of his voice to give you the impression of reason, the clever use of "facts" to make his derangement seem almost sane.
I haven't seen crazy shit like that since I last watched The Shining. Insane in the membrane...

Thursday, July 19, 2007

The Garden Inventory

So far...

30 different flower species
43 tomato plants, at least 7 different varieties
5 squash plants
8 pumpkin plants
9 cucumber plants
8 sweet pepper plants
25 hot pepper plants
3 black eyed pea plants
5 okra plants
A clump of asparagus
And dozens of carrots

In a few weeks, I'll have to add harvesting to a list of chores that already includes trimming, mulching, watering, weeding, and watching.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

The Only Thing We Have To Fear....is Ourselves

CNN has been talking Al Qaeda a lot today, and while they're doing it, they've been showing Al Qaeda training videos in the background. And I have to say, they're very funny.

A bunch of masked guys training in the desert. They run, they jump, they swim, they do judo, they traverse a jungle gym, they jump through flaming hoops.

I mean, what are they training for, a terrorist attack...or the circus?

These videos are supposed to scare us? They're supposed to remind us that we're facing a deadly enemy who wants to kill our children and grandchildren? Surely these clowns aren't going to be the ones to take down Western civilization...

I have to say, I'm too busy laughing to be afraid.

But there's still a segment of the population out there who is very afraid, dare I say paranoid.

On Jack Cafferty's Situation Room segment today, he printed a reader letter that I'll paraphrase as such:
If it were left up to the liberals, we'd all be speaking Arabic and converted to Islam.
Right, because liberals would just let the terrorists win. You know, liberalism has so much in common with Islamic jihadism... They really might as well be called the same thing.

But I wonder...are the jihadis going to convert you to Islam and teach you Arabic before...or after they blow themselves up for Allah?

Monday, July 16, 2007

Glazastik

This is some funny stuff.You may be thinking what's so funny about that? It's just funny.

Look at them all here.

MGM

In my world, MGM stands for Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, the famed film studio-slash-casino empire. In Andrew Sullivan's world, it stand for...

Male Genital Mutilation, ie, circumcision.

It may be TMI, but I suffer from MGM myself...and I'm glad. I don't miss my foreskin and I don't envy those who still have them. You can call it Male Genital Mutilation if you want, but circumcision works for me. As for the moral qualms, who cares?

I think if Andrew wasn't English or gay, he wouldn't care either.

How to Make $95 By Going to the Dentist

Someone explain this to me.

I went to the dentist for the first time in years recently. Being the guy who has single-handedly kept the Pepsi company in the black for a good decade or so, I knew I was going to need a lot of work. And I was right.

One tooth had to go, an extraction, they call it. Three more need crowns. And five more need fillings. And to top it all off, they all need a good cleaning. The quote, my half after insurance, was a little over two grand. (Crowns are pricey!)

Since I'm staggering out the work, I'm also staggering out the dough. Pay as you go, they call it. My first payment, for the extraction, was $100.

Today in the mail, I get a check from my insurance company for $195.00.

So, I pay the dentist $100...and the insurance company pays me $195. How come I never heard of this racket before?

PS. I quit drinking Pepsi and have since switched to root beer. Scientific studies showed that Pepsi and other sodas eat teeth like a pornstar eats pussy. Mountain Dew and Sprite-type beverages were the worst, followed by the colas and the other carbonated drinks. Prepackaged teas were bad, too. The drinks that registered little to no effect on teeth? Regular old water, of course; drinks you make at home by either brew or powder, including coffee and tea; and interestingly enough, root beer.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Weirdness at CNN

You wanna see something really strange? Check out this CNN rebuttal to Michael Moore's anti-CNN tirades. I've never seen anything like it from CNN. It's just odd...

Now I have to admit, I didn't read the whole thing. I haven't seen Sicko and I probably won't. (Although I was re-watching Errol Morris's The Fog of War again today.)

I argued me some Michael Moore...back during Farenheit 9/11. But now I've concluded he's neither enemy nor ally --He's too polarizing to be an ally and he makes too many good points to be an enemy-- so I ignore him.

I doubt I'm the only one who has come to this conclusion, considering Sicko wasn't the big summer movie he had hoped it would be, so why is CNN posting an 11-point "response to Michael Moore" that's longer and more detailed than any other article, hard news or otherwise, they've ever posted?

I have a few ideas, but none that would be sufficient to explain it. Here's a sample:

A) Michael Moore is threatening to make his next movie an expose of cable news channels, with an unhealthy emphasis on CNN.

B) Lawyers are involved.

C) CNN has nothing better to do.

D) CNN is trying to protect it's "Dr. Sanjay Gupta" brandname, which they have spent considerable time and effort crafting over the years. (And Sanjay, a journalist as well as a physician, is personally offended.)

E) Michael Moore is now considered, at least by CNN, a big media rival worthy of such attention.

F) CNN has jumped the shark.

There could be more. Who knows, but it's strange.

Update: Another strange thing...CNN linked to my blog as part of a "what the blogs are saying" feature, quadrupling my traffic. So thanks to everyone who clicked over. Thanks, too, to those who have commented.

Linkin Snark

Today as I was listening to the radio, Chester Bennington of Linkin Park asked me to tell him what the hell was wrong with May.

Well, Chester, nothing's wrong with May. The weather's nice, it's almost summertime, it's planting season. May is awesome.

What? The lyric is "what the hell is wrong with me?"

Oh, that's easy. This is what's wrong with you, Chester. Your band sucks.