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Thursday, September 22, 2005

A Dream

Dreams are an interesting window into the subconscious.  Apparently my subconscious has been chewing over thoughts of my ex-girlfriend, we’ll call her K, because she showed up in a dream I had last night.  It was one of those formless dreams, free of context and following no plot, a series of vague impressions or images now mostly forgotten.  But there she was, as my mind imagined she might look now.  She was wearing a tank top, very bronzed and somewhat heavier than when we were together, her body showing off the subtle transformation of motherhood.  Standing next to her, like a blurry image, was her boyfriend now, the father of her daughter.  I’ve never seen him, so in my mind he’s more of an abstraction than the actual memory of a person, hence the blur, but whenever I dream of her now, he’s always there.  Those are the only details of the dream that I recall, but the image has remained with me throughout the morning.

With that said, I think I might have some insight into what might have set my subconscious thinking about K.  In the last week or so, I’ve run into a few things out in the world that reminded me of her.  

  • Last week, I was perusing the book rack at the thrift store and ran across a book about an old circus elephant that she read when we were together called Modoc.  I smiled when I saw it, because it made me think of her.

  • Nickelback’s new song Photograph, which I heard on the radio last night, has a verse that uses poetic license to describe the situation almost literally.  

Kim’s the first girl I kissed
I was so nervous that I nearly missed
She’s had a couple of kids since then
I haven’t seen her since God knows when

(Editor’s note:  She wasn’t technically the first girl I kissed, but the first girl I really kissed, with love and passion behind it, a kiss with meaning.  The “couple of kids” thing is a bit of a stretch at this point, too, but give it time.)

  • I’ve been Netflixing Six Feet Under for a while, and since I’m on vacation, went on a Season 2 marathon.  The character of Brenda is a massage therapist, which is what K did for a few years after we split up.  Also, Trevor is the name of Brenda’s first boyfriend.  It’s also the name of K’s boyfriend now.  That name has all kinds of thought associations and now whenever I hear it, I think of her.

So with all of that, it’s no surprise that I had a dream about her.  But like the song says, I haven’t seen her since God knows when, so the dream was hazy.  If it means anything, it means I’m sentimental.

Politics as Usual

Our Incompetent Government

Fareed Zakaria of Newsweek says, “Whatever his other accomplishments, Bush will go down in history as the most fiscally irresponsible chief executive in American history.”  But he doesn’t place all the blame at Bush’s doorstep.  “Bush is not the only one to blame. Congressional spending is now completely out of control. The federal coffers are being looted for congressional patronage, and it is being done openly and without any guilt.”  Skating close to hyperbole, he continues “The U.S. Congress is a national embarrassment, except that no one is embarrassed.”  I second that one.  And I also agree with this, “Today's Republicans believe in pork, but they don't believe in government. So we have the largest government in history but one that is weak and dysfunctional.”

Sebastian Mallaby of the Washington Post, “The hurricane has exposed our government as complacent, corrupt and unprepared.”

You can’t read what the NY Times says about all this unless you pay $50 a year.  For that much, who cares what they have to say?  I predict right here and now that TimesSelect will be a dismal failure and after a few months they will abandon the effort.  Subscriptions will lag, influence will wane, and they’ll go back to the free days.  Mark my words.

Al Qaeda’s Ambassador

He’s not as famous as John Walker Lindh, and so far Steve Earle hasn’t written a song about him yet, but Adam Yahiye Gadahn has people talking.  This guy apparently knew him.  And there’s also this, written in Gadahn’s own hand.

I wonder how truly connected to Al Qaeda he is.  But I also wonder how many like him are out there.  Do they have to wait for orders from Osama to blow something up?